Music Theory and Yuletide Traditions
by AnthroQueen
Summary: The Greendale Community College study group finds the perfect way to count down the days until Christmas.
1. 12 Useless Credits

**12 days 'til Christmas = 12 chapters of this story, with the words to "12 Days of Christmas" completely rewritten, Greendale style. ;)  
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><p><span>Music Theory and Yuletide Traditions<span>

"_On the twelfth day 'til Christmas, Greendale gave to me: __**twelve useless credits**__…"_

12 Useless Credits

Jeff Winger is still trying to figure out why school is still in session on December thirteenth, as he pulls his not-so-new Lexus into an empty parking spot outside of Greendale Community College that chilly Tuesday morning. According to the academic calendar they all received earlier on in the year, the last day of classes was the ninth, and yet, they're all still here, sitting in Biology class or around the study table or in the cafeteria. And it's not like Jeff has much else to do, honestly. Holidays for Jeff Winger consist of an obligatory visit to his mother and drinking through all of the usual festivities.

Last year, it had been different. Last year, _he_ had been different.

But needless to say, winter was Jeff Winger's least favorite season, and it isn't because the bitter Colorado weather forces him to wear many layers and cover up the body he works so hard on (okay, it's not _only_ that). Sure, snow is cool the _first_ time; watching tiny majestic flakes of white flutter to the earth is amusing only until it adds up. Only until it accumulates into mounds and mountains of white, making driving impossible and walking? Forget it. When it melts, it turns to a grainy, grey slush mixed with mud and then, because it gets just as cold again (of course), that grey/brown slush turns into ice. And driving in ice is pretty much synonymous to signing your own death certificate.

Today is one of the "snow-melting-into-slush" days, Jeff notes, as he turns off the vehicle and gets out of the car, grimacing at the squishing sound his boots make with the ground. It just so happens that Leonard is also walking into the school at the same time and Jeff sarcastically wonders where his sudden stroke of luck came from and tries to duck out of sight, but he's already been spotted. Leonard looks down, chuckles, and says, "Nice boots, gaywad! Those are for girls!"

Jeff rolls his eyes, continuing to stalk into the building. "Shut up, Leonard. You belong on the Island of Misfit Toys."

The moment he steps into the building, Jeff's expecting relief from the cold… but is instead greeted by the very same icy air that he's only just left. Blinking in confusion, he turns to his left, where Vicki and (Fat) Neil are standing, shivering, by the water fountain. Vicki's teeth chatter as she offers, "V-V-Vice Dean L-Laybourne…"

"What a showoff," (Fat) Neil sighs, shaking his head. Jeff nods his agreement and continues towards the study room.

Unsurprisingly, everyone is already there. But to his mild shock- and semi-annoyance- so is Dean Pelton, dressed in khakis that have definitely seen better days and a super tight pale green button down. He's lecturing them about something, Jeff can tell, because when the Dean has something important (read: completely irrelevant) to say, everyone has their own way of reacting to it and Jeff has picked up on this after two and a half years. Annie pays close attention to everything he says and usually jots down a few notes to refer back to later. Shirley listens half-concerned, half-amused, with a remorseful look on her face. Pierce falls asleep, Troy zones out, Abed thinks of movie references. And Britta? Britta doesn't pay attention, usually. Usually, she's looking out the windows, peering through the doors, or staring at him to watch his reaction to the Dean's obsessive need to touch Jeff whenever he walks in the room.

Jeff realizes he still has time to loop around and wait until the Dean leaves, but as he's beginning to back away, he unintentionally wins Britta's attention. She rolls her eyes at him and mimes passing out. Jeff smirks and nods toward the door, motioning for her to leave because he's pretty sly, he can get them _both_ out. But she sends him a "There's no _way_ that would ever work" look and fixes her stare back at the Dean. They're silently communicating for a good minute more before the Dean asks, "Britta, do you need to visit health services?"

Jeff chuckles, but this is immediately diminished when Abed points him out. "She's trying to figure out a way to escape the boring conversation. Jeff's idea."

The rest of the group and the Dean turn to look at him and he frowns immediately. Britta shoots him a half-apologetic, half-amused smile as he takes his seat beside her. "Nice. I was going to get you out, too."

"Not my fault," She tells him. "Way too impossible."

"You underestimate my stealthy abilities," Jeff says and turns to the Dean. "Dean Pelton. To what do we owe this incredible honor?"

"Aw, thank you Jeffrey!" Dean Pelton smiles cheekily, placing a hand on Jeff's upper chest. "And I'm sorry to have to interrupt what looks like a very valuable study time, but we have a situation here and I'm not sure how we're going to fix it."

"Yes we do," Annie nods, sitting straighter. "You _do_ know that the Biology final was pushed until _next_ week, right? I was prepared to take it last Thursday, but-"

"Annie, I doubt that's the biggest issue here," Jeff snorts. "You realize you're holding us two days past when the semester ended, right?"

"That's actually part of the solution to the problem," Dean Pelton explains. "As you know, twelve credits is the minimum amount a student should take to be considered a full-time student. I have it under discretion that a student created a schedule with twelve credits that didn't actually exist so they wouldn't ever have to be on campus."

"Huh," Britta turns to Jeff. "That sounds kind of familiar."

He rolls his eyes. "Oh come on, you think _I_ did this?"

"Well Jeff, you _did_ make up a class last year," Annie points out. "I'm still trying to get over the trauma of thinking Professor Garrity was dead."

"You're not exactly the most hardworking student, Jeffrey," Shirley says softly and Pierce groans.

"She's trying to say you're a slacker."

"Wow, thanks guys," Jeff drones. "Glad to see no one has any faith in me."

"Well I now have to audit twelve credits that I'm not even sure exist and get to the bottom of this," Dean Pelton explains. "Which is why we're still in session! We will work until December twenty-fourth if we have to! We will prove that Greendale is a body of hardworking individuals dedicated to their education!"

"But that's Christmas Eve!" Shirley complains but the Dean shrugs.

"We do not acknowledge any holidays here, Shirley," Dean Pelton says. "We're secular and politically correct."

"If we're so 'secular'," Jeff smirks, using air quotes and everything. "Why not work through break?"

"I hope it doesn't have to come to that," The Dean sighs. "But if it does you can prepare to spend your holidays with the human beings."

He begins to exit the room and then states, "I suspect City College is behind this… But you're not exactly off the hook, Jeffrey."

Annie looks almost gleeful at the news, but everyone else is, as expected, annoyed and pissed off. Shirley is the first to protest. "They can't do this! This is against the law! Separation of church and state, right?"

"Well technically, us staying in school is a _further_ separation of church and state," Jeff explains lightly and Shirley frowns.

Troy groans. "I can't believe you tried to get away with this again, dude."

Jeff balks. "You guys seriously think it was me? Why would I try it again?"

"Because it didn't work the first time," Pierce scoffs. "So you thought you'd try again. Go gay or go home, right?"

"Go _big_," Britta corrects. "But you actually have a point, Pierce. I mean, Jeff, you tried to convince us last time that you didn't do it and it turned out you were lying."

"Well I'm not this time!" Jeff exclaims but the group still looks skeptical. "Look, this is beyond the point. What we really need to do is get the hell out of here, because I don't know about you, but my winter break started last Friday."

"Yeah, keeping us past the date is _insane_." Troy states.

"It _is_ insane," Britta is immediately riled up. "And it would bad if the Dean didn't already exude numerous mental health issues, but putting this on top of everything else he's dealing with is definitely a problem to us and the school-"

"Troy," Jeff groans. "Didn't we talk about the five words that cause Britta to go off in a tangent?"

"Yeah," He says glumly. "You said not to ever say them."

"Thank you."

"Well, I guess we should get to Biology, then!" Annie says excitedly, jumping up and heading out of the room, trying to placate a still visibly upset Shirley.

"Wait," Britta begins, standing as Pierce, Abed and Troy begin to also leave the room. "What are the words? You guys have a _filter_?"

"When it comes to the overachieving psych major? Yeah," Jeff answers. "And telling you the words would completely defeat the purpose."

"Well one of those words better be my name," Britta says. "Because if you don't stop using it to mean _make a very small and understandable error_-"

"Britta, we stopped using your name after you Britta'd it," Jeff tells her, leaving the room and heading down the science wing. "So you can relax, kitten."

Britta watches him leave for a moment and then catches up with him, looking pensive. "If you didn't actually do this, who did?"

"No idea," Jeff shrugs, holding the classroom door for her. "Someone who obviously was following my genius plan."

"But wanted to do it right," She grins and he glares at her. "But seriously, if he has to audit these credits… That's a whole _semester_ and it devalues everything we've done."

Jeff looks down at her. "I'm sorry; when did you switch bodies with Annie?"

She sighs. "I'm serious, Jeff. We're going to lose everything. This entire semester would have been a waste."

"I doubt it's going to come to that," He counters. "Beside, this is _Greendale_. Every semester is a waste."

She smirks. "Touché."

The rest of Biology class is boring and uneventful, mainly because Professor Kane had already completed his lesson plan for the semester and was planning on having the final by now. But he manages to scrounge together some labs he was planning on using for the next semester and makes them analyze the different phases plant cells are taking part in. Pierce, whose lab partner is Shirley today, continues to comment about how each slide of intersecting cells looks like boobs and Shirley keeps praying for salvation. Britta is paired with both Troy and Abed today, which leaves Jeff with Annie, who manages to look both happy and annoyed by this circumstance.

"Jeff," She questions. "You didn't do it, right?"

"Annie, why would I do this again? It obviously was a stupid idea the first time," He explains. "I thought you of all people would have more faith in me."

"I have faith in the person you can be," Annie tells him bluntly. "Not so much in the person you are now."

Jeff frowns. "What's that supposed to mean?"

"Come on, Jeff," Annie shrugs it off, writing an annotation on her lab assignment. "You and I both know you've grown as a person ever since coming here. You're just… not exactly done growing."

He stares at her until she looks up at him and shoots him a small smile. "It's not an insult, Jeff. Everyone needs to grow and adapt."

"Yeah, it's not exactly a compliment, either," Jeff shoots back. "And how exactly am I supposed to 'grow and adapt'? What's wrong with the way I am now?"

She shrugs. "Well nothing, really, but… Just don't worry about it. I'll help you."

"Yeah? What if I don't want your help?" He says and she immediately meets his gaze. "What if I don't want to change at all?"

"Then don't," Annie says. "Look, I was just trying to help-"

"To help, yeah. Everyone's always trying to help," Jeff frowns. "I've got Abed studying me, Britta shrinking me, and now you re-packaging me. Why can't you all mind your own business?"

Annie looks upset which makes Jeff feel even worse. "Look, I'm sorry. I'll see you tomorrow. The last one's metaphase."

Ignoring the group's looks of confusion, Jeff gathers his books and leaves the room, tossing his completed lab report on Professor Kane's front desk. He passes Starburns in the hallway, who asks why he appears so down and suggests a certain "pick-me-up." Jeff scares him away pretty effectively (he threatens calling the cops) and pushes past him, out of the hall, out of the building, out onto the quad, where he finds a bench that isn't full of snow and plops down beside it, head immediately finding the cushion of his hands.

He's not sure how long he sits like this, but after a moment, he feels a presence beside him and then someone sits down on the other side of the bench. Already getting annoyed, Jeff swears to go off on Abed, Annie, or Britta, but when he looks up, it's Shirley, looking just as frustrated and agitated as he is. She's chewing on a brownie when she looks over at him, then smiles half-heartedly and hands him his own brownie. He gratefully accepts it and she says, "I was supposed to start my diet today, but screw it. It's been that kind of day."

Jeff bites into the tiny piece of heaven and sighs. "I'm with you on that one."

"I don't know why we put up with Pierce," Shirley says outwardly. "He's got the mind of a twelve-year-old and it's trapped inside the body of a middle-aged man from the sixties. If the good Lord hadn't been watching…"

Jeff chuckles. "It probably would have been worth the eternal damnation."

"Oh Jeffrey, I know you're not a religious person, but you don't get eternal damnation for slapping someone upside the head," Shirley explains. "You get eternal damnation for assault, murder, _stealing someone's brownie recipe and then selling it to Betty Crocker and making millions_…"

"Personal experience?" Jeff asks and Shirley nods slowly.

"There's a lot you don't know about me, Jeffrey," She says. "Just like there's a lot I don't know about you. Like why you stormed out today and left poor Annie all pouty-faced."

He sighs. "Shirley, have you ever had a horrible thing happen to you that left you wanting to figure out who you were? But the whole time, you had people around you trying to shape you or fix you into something you're not?"

"Sure," Shirley nods. "I was very close to my father, Jeff. But he died when I was twenty-one and I didn't know what to do with myself. I turned to alcohol, as you know, because my friend told me that would solve everything."

"So what happened?"

"Well one day," Shirley explains. "I woke up in a house I had never seen before and when I walked outside, there was a church across the street. I went into confession and told the priest everything. I found the Lord, Jeff. He was my savior."

Jeff stares at her. "Oh. Well I don't think…"

"Who is trying to change you, Jeffrey?" Shirley asks. "And why don't you want to accept that?"

"Annie, mostly. Abed and Britta are there, but less of a problem," Jeff sighs. "I know her intentions are good, it's just that… Well…"

"You like the way you are," Shirley states and Jeff hesitates and then nods.

"Is that selfish?"

"Of course not," She shakes her head. "Everyone needs to know who they are. Personally, I think Annie's insistence of you changing is selfish. It sounds like she wants you to change into the person right for her."

Jeff again pauses. "I don't know if I can do that."

"I don't think you should ever have to change for someone," Shirley tells him. "And I think you're selling yourself a bit short. You've grown dramatically since our first day here, you know."

He smiles. "Thanks."

"Anytime I can help, you just let me know!" She stands, brushing off the front of her slacks. "Eat your brownie, Jeffrey. Don't let my hard work go to waste."

Jeff chuckles and does so, standing as well and heading out to his car. The day was mostly over and he was so ready for it to be. At the front steps of the school, however, Annie is pacing slowly and when she sees him, she stops, immediately shrieking, "I'm so sorry! I just went crazy on you and you didn't even deserve it. I don't know what I was thinking, but you shouldn't listen to me. I don't even know what I'm talking about."

"Annie," Jeff stops her. "You need to calm down. We're okay. I'm not mad at you."

"No, but you have every right to be," She says. "I know you're going through a lot this year and me yelling at you for every little thing can't exactly be helping."

"Annie, seriously," He tells her. "It's fine. Don't even worry about it."

She nods slowly. "We're good?"

"We're good," He chuckles. "See you tomorrow."

He begins to walk away again before Annie calls out, "Wait, Jeff! Britta was looking for you."

Jeff groans. "I've _so_ had it with this place today."

He decides whatever it is Britta wants can wait until tomorrow or, at the very least, a text or phone call for later, and stalks through the snow, kicking at slush and unlocking his car the moment it's in sight. A light sprinkling of snow starts to fall once he's gotten closer and he notices his ignoring Britta was useless, because she's leaning against the hood of his Lexus, half-shivering. The moment he advances on her, she calls out, "Hey, so… I need a favor."

Jeff smirks, raising an eyebrow. "Well, I'm a little tired and we _did_ call it off… But I suppose I can-"

"Ew, not a sexual favor, jackass," Britta scowls. "I kind of need a ride home. I missed the bus and I don't want to stand in the blizzard for thirty minutes waiting for the next one."

"First of all, it's cold, but it's barely snowing," He tells her. "Second, if you need a favor from someone, try not calling them a jackass. And third, what happened to your car?"

"Well A- I'm sorry," She smiles saccharinely. "And B- it kind of got towed this weekend when I parked in a handicap spot and I haven't exactly gotten around to paying off the fine yet."

Jeff rolls his eyes. "How much do you need?"

"I don't want your money," She shakes her head. "I want a ride home."

"Well maybe I'm feeling generous today," He says, unlocking the car and motioning toward the passenger door. "I've forgiven Annie for trying to change me. I can do the same for you."

She shoots him an odd look as she gets in beside him. "I haven't tried to change you, Jeff. Believe me, I've realized you're much too happy being the way you are."

Jeff smirks. "And you're okay with that?"

Britta nods. "Completely."

For some reason, this makes Jeff's day a whole lot better.


	2. 11 Pop POPs

Music Theory and Yuletide Traditions

"_On the eleventh day 'til Christmas, Greendale gave to me: twelve useless credits, __**eleven POP-POP!s**__…_"

11 POP-POP!s

No one ever told Troy Barnes that college was so dramatically different from high school.

He contemplates everything that led to his being here, at Greendale, as he makes the walk from his sports management class to the study room and is almost shocked at how different everything seemed. But then again, everything _was_ different after his parents split up. He was one of those "born to save the marriage" babies, but everyone knows that never works out. His parents were divorced by the time Troy started kindergarten, and even though everyone was happier, nothing was ever really the _same_.

High school had been a time of parties, football, girls, and more parties. As the captain of the football team, he had the entire school at his beck and call, though he didn't really exploit this too much. He had his fair share of girlfriends- or, as much of a relationship as it could possibly be in high school- and he loved every second of it. But then things started to change again. Everyone was settling down, picking schools and career tracks and Troy still didn't know what he wanted to do. Football was his father's dream, not Troy's, so he took the easy way out. The keg flip was the most idiotic thing he's ever done.

But he doesn't regret it in the least bit.

There are many things he likes to think about, late at night lying in bed. After Abed's fallen asleep, there's not much else to do but fall asleep too, but usually, he waits. He thinks about his mom a lot; about where she is, mainly, because after his junior year of high school, she'd taken a job in international business and was transported all over the world. Troy thinks about the time he first chose to come to Greendale Community College, when it seemed like it was the only place where he could start a new life, the only place that accepted him and his screw-ups, the only place that felt like home. He also thinks, sometimes, about coming home to find his father making out with a girl younger than he was.

He really tries _not_ to think of that.

Troy also thinks about Annie, but not the Annie she is now. He thinks about her as the girl who sat behind him in algebra, the one he didn't really know existed. He likes thinking that she liked him for who he was not _what_ he was and wonders that, if they had been friends back then, would he have turned out the way he is now? Would he have given up on his dreams so easily if her motivation pushed him through? It's hard to see her like this, though; he can't stop seeing her as the Little Annie Adderall who ran through a plate glass window, the whole time shouting "Everyone's a robot!" She isn't any less crazy now, but this is more of a useful crazy; an energy they can feed on. He wouldn't mind giving her a shot, taking her on a date or something, but he's sure he's missed his chance.

And, of course, there's always _Jeff_.

He wasn't kidding when he told Jeff he couldn't eat a donut and lick the other. Why should it be fair that Jeff gets both Britta _and_ Annie? They're a weird and incestuous little family, Troy's noticed, but becoming an adult has only made Jeff much harsher on him. Jeff still wants to be the alpha male, Troy can tell, and doesn't want to give him the satisfaction of winning _anyone's_ affection. But, as Troy thinks of it, does Jeff have _real_ feelings for either of them? He bounces back and forth without any real commitment and it makes Troy more than a little bit angry. Okay, Jeff does get that weirdly affectionate look on his face sometimes when talking to Britta… But does that mean anything, if in the next moment, he's praising the shit out of Annie?

Sometimes Troy just likes to take the tunnels to his and Abed's own little world and get away from the relationship stuff.

He passes Magnitude in the hallway and slaps him a high five. "Happy holidays, man."

"Thanks!" Magnitude grins. "Pop-POP!"

"You got any plans for the break?" Troy asks, ignoring the fact that the Dean took their break away.

"Pop-POP!" Magnitude replies. "One-man party never plans in advance!"

"That makes sense," Troy laughs. "I'll catch you later, man."

"In Biology class, holla!" Magnitude grins. "Pop-POP!"

This puts Troy in a good mood as he enters the study room, noticing everyone is already there except Pierce, whose marketing class just let out a moment ago. He sits down at his usual seat and does the typical handshake with Abed, turning to face the table and examine the current situation. Shirley's chuckling softly at a text from Andre, he assumes, as she peers down at her cell phone and grins. Annie is reading ahead, of course, for her English class, every so often highlighting a sentence here and there. And, not surprisingly, Jeff and Britta are bantering back and forth, grinning the whole time despite the fact that it makes everyone else cringe.

_They belong together_, Troy thinks, shaking his head. _Is it even worth the effort to try and get Britta's attention? They're like an old married couple_.

When Pierce finally arrives, they go through the assigned homework for Biology and begin to tediously go through the work, one question at a time. It's Jeff's idea, so of course everyone obliges, even though Troy can definitely think of other, easier, and faster ways to do this. They get to question five before he says, "Wouldn't this be so much easier if we just divided this up? Then we can talk about it, share our answers, and be done."

"Oh," Annie remarks brightly. "That's actually a really good idea!"

Troy smiles. "Thanks."

"Yeah, sure it is," Jeff says tightly. "But no one can read Pierce's handwriting and he usually gets half of the answers wrong anyway."

"Hey!" Pierce shouts. "Leave me out of this! And I'll have you know I passed biology in high school with flying colors!"

"Good for you, Pierce," Britta puts in.

Pierce is soon chuckling. "Although, that was an experimental time, you know, the seventies. Colors actually _were_ flying…"

"Okay, we're going to be here all night," Jeff frowns. "Can we just get back to studying?"

"Jeff, I think Troy raises a good point," Annie points out. "We really should break it up. The reading is dense and it'll help us get through the assignment."

"Fine," Jeff sighs in resignation. "Let's break it down."

Troy stares at him. "What's your problem, dude?"

"My problem?" Jeff smirks. "I don't have a problem."

"Every time I suggest something, you shoot me down," Troy states adamantly. "What's up with that? Why should we always have to do what you say?"

"Ooh, I just read about that in my psych book," Britta says. "It's called the superiority complex. Jeff feels like his opinion is better than everyone else's and feels the need to put down others to keep this feeling relevant. He sees you as a threat."

"A threat?" Jeff scoffs. "You think I'm threatened by a twenty-year-old kid?"

"First of all, I'm twenty-_two_." Troy remarks. "Second, I am an adult just like you are and I have valid points just like you do!"

"You're an adult?" Jeff laughs. "Sure. Tell that to the bunk beds in your apartment and the costume parties you and Abed have alone in your room on Tuesday afternoons."

"How do you know about Costume Day?" Abed asks but Troy ignores this.

"Bunk beds are a practical way to save space," Troy stands, angry. "And I've said this to Annie and I don't mind repeating it, just because we're awesome _does not mean we're not adults!_"

With this, he grabs his backpack and storms out of the room, pushing past the librarians and students, even Magnitude, who shouts, "Pop-POP!" at his back. Before the study room doors close, he hears an indiscernible voice say, "Jeff, that was low. Even for you."

Troy finds a place in the student lounge where he can just exist for a moment, but he should've expected someone to follow him out of the study room. He just didn't expect this someone to be Britta. She's Jeff Winger's right hand, right? They pick on people and tear them down all the time, so Troy's surprised that she's sitting beside him on the couch, picking at her leather jacket before speaking. "I'm glad you held your ground. I'm sorry about that. He gets really jealous and possessive of things."

He nods. "Yeah, I guess so. He's just _always_ picking on me and I'm tired of it."

"I get that," Britta says. "But you really held your own in there. That was impressive."

Troy shrugs. "I'm sick of the way he talks to me. Why does he keep treating me like I'm some dumb kid?"

"Because to him, you are," Britta explains softly. "When I look at you, Troy, I see a man who is independent but opens himself up to new relationships, hardworking but still knows how to have fun, and serious but also creative and playful. Jeff doesn't see that. He still sees you as the eighteen-year-old who didn't want to take off the letterman jacket. He sees you as the kid who broke both his arms in a stupid keg flip."

"But why?" Troy groans. "Why can't I change that? I'm not that kid anymore."

"You can't change that, Troy," Britta tells him. "_He_ has to change that. He sees you as a threat, so by putting you down, he's asserting himself in that power role. There's nothing Jeff hates more than losing control and he's afraid you're going to take it from him."

"Trust me, I don't want it," Troy shakes his head. "Way too much pressure."

Britta grins. "I'm with you there."

He grins back. "Thanks Britta. You know what, I think we were wrong. I think you'll be a pretty good therapist."

Her grin deepens. "Thank you! I told you guys I could do it. Sometimes I think you all have less faith in me than you do in Pierce."

"Oh, there's no hope for Pierce," Troy jokes and the two stand, hug, and head back to the group.

It makes him feel slightly better when, after he sits down, Jeff splits the assignment into seven parts and the group works silently on them, relinquishing control. He supposes this is as much of an apology as he'll get from Jeff, but after study group is over, Jeff pulls him aside to apologize and spends half of the time re-listing why he was wrong. He scratches the back of his neck all awkwardly and finally spills out, "So, I'm sorry. It was wrong, what I said. All of it. And your idea was actually pretty good. It saved us a lot of time."

"Thanks," Troy nods. "I thought so."

"Yo, yo, yo, yo," Magnitude cuts in. "Pop-POP!"

He hands a small gold and glittery envelope to Troy, saying, "Pop-POP!" and then does the same for Jeff, adding, "Party time. Pop-POP!"

"Thank you?" Troy questions, opening the envelope and noting it was invitation to Greendale's secular holiday dance. "Oh, cool! A holiday dance!"

"Dean Pelton said it's gonna be _tight_," Magnitude grins. "Pop-POP!"

"Oh, a dance, wow," Jeff remarks sarcastically, opening his envelope. "Never had one of those before."

"Pop-POP!" Magnitude shouts. "One-man party says this is gonna be the place to be!"

"Alright!" Troy slaps him high five and Magnitude replies with, you guessed it, "Pop-POP!"

They both leave the study room, where Jeff heads off in the direction Britta and Shirley have gone and Troy catches up with Annie and Abed. It's started to rain, which is sure to make the snow melt into an unbearable mixture of sludge, slush, and mush. Abed offers to drive and goes to get the car from the parking lot so the other two don't have to walk in the horrible weather. They're standing awkwardly on the steps under the awning and Annie turns to Troy with an adorable grin on her face.

"You were awesome today," She says. "I've never seen Jeff so ruffled. You really got to him."

Troy shuffles his feet nervously. "Yeah, well. He deserved it."

"I know," She agrees. "He can't just keep talking to you like that."

"He can't?" Troy questions, shocked that she, the _other_ object of Jeff Winger's affection, agrees with him.

"No!" Annie states vehemently. "He's ridiculous, that way. I mean, come on, you're _both_ adults."

"We are?" Troy continues, eyes wide. He's never wanted to kiss this girl more than he does now.

"Well, yeah," Annie grins. "You've grown up so much, Troy. I mean, when I liked you in high school, it was because you were funny and cool and smart. You walked around like you owned the place but at the same time, you weren't ever arrogant about it. When everyone else was going off to pursue dreams they didn't want, you made your own, and I don't think I could _ever_ be that brave."

"And now, now that you're here?" Annie continues dreamily and Troy watches her, heart pounding. "You're standing up to the people who try to stop you from achieving that dream and it's the most amazing thing I've ever seen. You're so great. I mean, you're so wonderfully you in all ways possible, but you're also so different and it just… It's just perfect. Plus, you're still able to look at me and be friends with me after what happened in high school, which is a miracle, I think."

"Annie?" Troy stops her and she looks over at him, her blue, doe eyes staring straight back into his.

"Yeah?"

He answers her question with a kiss, silencing every thought in between the two, except for the one that's screaming _wow, wow, wow_. He cradles her face in his hands, warm palms against her rosy cheeks as her own hands are at first immobilized by her sides, then move slowly upward, up his sides and towards his shoulders. Her lips are soft and taste of sweet bubblegum; he knows she likes to keep them moisturized and that bubblegum is her favorite flavor. When they break away, there is silence, but they both grin at each other.

The first one around, the only one around, is Magnitude, who responds with an enthusiastic, "Pop-POP!"

Troy and Annie couldn't agree more.

* * *

><p><strong>I'm more of an AbedAnnie fan, but I felt like this was necessary. Abed/Annie will have their time to shine in a few chapters, don't you worry. ;)**


	3. 10 Blinking Lights

Music Theory and Yuletide Traditions

"_On the tenth day 'til Christmas, Greendale gave to me: twelve useless credits, eleven POP-POP!s, __**ten blinking lights**__…_"

10 Blinking Lights

Shirley Bennett has not always been the saintly Christian she is now.

Growing up in a poor town outside of Denver with five brothers and sisters, Shirley is the youngest and was constantly picked on by her siblings and their friends. This, of course caused her to toughen up, to become hardened to their responses and to be able to dish it out just as well as they could. She'd stayed close with her father through all of this, because Daddy's favorite was always the youngest, wasn't it? Her siblings disliked her for this and her mother still treated her like the adult she was, not the "baby" she was symbolically.

But when Shirley turned twenty-one, her father had suffered a massive stroke that proved fatal in the long run and everyone had been devastated. Her siblings had all been destroyed, but had coped, one by one getting back to their studies, their jobs, their families, and moving on with their lives. Even her mother had accepted the fact that everything happens for a reason, and within the next few years, she was remarried and happy again, back to humming gleefully while cooking in the kitchen, back to unconsciously smiling for no reason at all, and back to seeing the world through rose-colored lenses.

It seemed Shirley was the only one who couldn't deal with this death and she spent a few years or so completely lost. She had never been a fan of alcohol before her friend had told her it took away all of your problems, it was a source of happiness, it pushed away all your cares and worries. And Shirley would completely agree if it didn't make her feel like complete shit later on. There was a high point to being drunk and then there were the many low points, many of them being passing out in bushes, puking on the side of the road, and waking up in places she had never seen before.

Finding the Baptist church was a freak accident, but it was her saving grace and her wake-up call. The priest had absolved her and invited her to join his parish, which she did with relish and has never regretted this. Through a mission trip to Guatemala, she met Andre and within months they were married in the very church that had saved Shirley from herself. They had created a cozy lifestyle together; she, Andre, Elijah, and Jordan lived in a three-bedroom home just outside Greendale County and everything had been perfect… But then nothing was perfect.

The decisions to end their marriage, share custody of the two boys, and start school at Greendale had felt like a numbing, out of body experience. But Shirley knew she needed to take her life back into her own hands, because she hadn't made a single decision for herself since her father had passed on. She was glad to have a family in the study group and each member- even Pierce- meant something to her. Everyone was different now, but so was Shirley, and she was glad to have each of them in her life.

But the saintly Christian women in her would _not_ allow the Dean to take Christmas away.

So today, December 15th, Shirley is carefully opening a package of a strand of multicolored Christmas lights, unwrapping them from their plastic packaging and setting them on the empty study table. She doesn't care what the Dean says; just because the _school_ is secular doesn't mean she has to be secular and yes, she'll be politically correct when wishing happy holidays to Annie, Abed, and Troy. But she's going to decorate the study room, because acknowledging _no_ holiday just isn't right. So she's singing to herself and decides to light up the room. Literally.

"_Come, they told me, pa rum pum pum pum_," Shirley croons, dragging a few chairs to certain points in the room. "_A newborn king to see, pa rum pum pum pum. Our finest gifts we bring, pa rum pum pum pum. To lay before the king, pa rum pum pum pum, rum pa pum pum, rum pa pum pum._"

"Ah, _Little Drummer Boy_?" Jeff questions, entering the room, Britta not far behind him. "That's a new one. No more _Jesus is a Friend of Mine_?"

Shirley ignores the half-insult excitedly. "Oh! You know _Little Drummer Boy_?"

"Sure," Jeff shrugs. "Everybody loves Joan Jett."

Shirley frowns and grasps the strand of lights, stepping up onto one of the chairs. "Oh… sure."

"You like Joan Jett?" Britta asks, her face completely incredulous. "You've got to be kidding me."

"Hey," Jeff holds up his hands, grinning. "_I Love Rock 'N Roll_ was like the biggest album when I was growing up."

"You're not that old, are you?" She shoots back. "Didn't that come out in like… the late sixties?"

"Um, try mid-to-late-seventies," Jeff rolls his eyes. "You pretend you're so cultured, but…"

"Whatever," Britta says dismissively. "I believe you owe me a coffee, Winger. Are you going to get that today, or do I have to prove my awesomeness again?"

He groans. "Fine. Shirley, you want anything from Hot and Brown?"

"Oh, no, I'm fine. Thank you," She smiles sweetly and Jeff nods, leaving the room. "So what did you do that makes him owe you?"

"Oh," Britta chuckles. "He bet me that Duncan would show up to psych drunk, but he's really committed to being sober. So, I won."

Shirley deadpans. "That's all?"

Britta shrugs. "Yeah."

"I'll never understand you two," Shirley shakes her head. "Or your weird little relationship."

Britta gives her an odd glance. "What weird little relationship?"

"Please," Shirley responds, grabbing a few plastic hooks and beginning to hang them at various points around the room. "The flirting, the arguing, the… _premarital sex_-"

"Shirley," Britta rolls her eyes, dropping her things at her chair. "Nobody 'saves themselves' anymore."

"I did!" She states to prove a point. "You two might as well already be married."

"Okay, for one, I don't believe in marriage," Britta replies and Shirley again shakes her head, in remorse. "And second, you can honestly picture Jeff and I married? Like with children who have abnormally-sized foreheads, a house with a white-picket fence, and a golden retriever? That's fatuous."

"I don't know why you're so opposed to the idea," Shirley frowns, beginning to unravel the first strand of lights. "Holy matrimony is one of the most religious sacraments-"

"Do you need help with the lights?" Britta cuts her off and Shirley nods happily, momentarily forgetting her religious tangent.

So she and Britta begin to hang the Christmas lights, putting aside their opposing viewpoints and working together as friends. They take turns being the one stepping onto the chairs-acting-as-ladders to hang the lights and the one holding the rest of the lights and feeding them to the other in an endless cycle. When they finish a strand, they plug it into the next one and continue to drape the multicolored lights up and over the doors, the windows, and the walls. It's enjoyable, Shirley realizes, because she usually doesn't spend this kind of quality time with Britta and getting to talk to her in this intimate setting is nice.

She and Britta haven't exactly been the closest of friends over the years, but it isn't because Shirley doesn't like her. She likes Britta a lot, actually; Shirley likes that she's a strong and independent woman who is in full control of her own life, because if there's anything Shirley's learned, it's that losing control of who you are is a devastating and helpless experience. But things are different for Britta and Shirley sort of envies that.

Of course, there are things she doesn't understand; how _anyone_ can be atheistic when small miracles and simple faith proved there was a higher power out there (named Jesus, but let's not get into specifics). She doesn't understand the whole anarchist deal; as long as the government thought their actions were what are best for the country, why not let them run it their way? And, of course, her taste in men was a bit horrific. Why date someone as intimidating as Lukka or as ridiculous as Vaughn when you had someone like Jeff?

Jeff and Britta are Shirley's new Ross and Rachel, her new Zack and Kelly, her new Sam and Diane (yeah, she may have hated them, but she knew they belonged together). She's so convinced they'll end up together if they could only get over their pettiness, their egos, and their aversion to any type of romance. Britta may not be able to see it, but Shirley can picture the wedding- and a wedding is what they need after that year-long stint of premarital sex. She's shaken out of her fantasy when the rest of the study group, Jeff also returning with coffee, enters the study room, commenting immediately on the new décor.

"Ooh! Christmas lights!" Annie exclaims giddily. "This room definitely could use the extra light."

"The Dean may be able to take our break away, but he will _not_ take Christmas away," Shirley says adamantly. "I think we all learned last year that as long as we're spending time together, Christmas will still have meaning."

Abed smiles. "Cool. Cool, cool, cool."

"You think this is enough light?" Jeff asks sarcastically. "I guess you're not paying the electric bill."

"Remember how high our electric bill was last year, Troy?" Pierce claps him on the back. "After Electric Extravaganza?"

Troy swallows hard. "I'm still trying to forget."

"Oh, no skin off your nose, ol' buddy," Pierce grins. "I paid every cent because that's the kind of thing I do for my roommates. Of course, you probably split the utility bill now, huh? You know how those Arabs and Jews can be…"

Annie makes an indignant noise but Troy pulls a face. "That's not the part I'm trying to forget."

"What's Electric Extravaganza?" Britta asks from her lighting position.

Troy shakes his head. "So many lights… So many inappropriate figures… _So_ many old people in dresses…"

"They're not dresses," Pierce explains in annoyance. "They're traditional Reformed Neo-Buddhist regalia. We _always_ wear them on the holidays."

"_Every_ holiday, even the lame ones that are only cool because you get out of school," Troy says. "Columbus Day, President's Day, May Day…"

"All finished!" Shirley announces, ceasing Pierce and Troy's rant. "Okay Britta, you can plug them in!"

Britta nods and plugs the male end of the final strand of lights into the nearest plug. The room illuminates to life and everyone applauds. Shirley claps excitedly, saying, "Oh, that's nice!" The rest of Greendale's lighting dims a little as the study room steals electricity, but it's restored after only a moment. The Christmas cheer is spread despite the fact that they're still in school and Shirley is completely satisfied. It's only after they've all sat down at their usual places that they realize it- the room is _pulsing_.

Everyone glances around at the walls and each other as the room continues to pulsate. There are ten strands of lights strung around the room and each one is vibrating color at a different time and frequency. They are _blinking_; as in, flashing on and off, on and off, changing the color of the room at an alarming rate. It's as if they had just entered a disco; the only thing they were missing was the pulsing music thumping in time to the arrhythmic lighting. Shirley's face immediately falls in disappointment as everyone else squints or covers their eyes.

"Wow," Jeff says through the visor made by his hands. "This room should come with an epilepsy warning."

"Oh no," Shirley frowns. "How could this happen?"

"Britta," Annie immediately blames, picking up the nearest empty box. "You bought blinking lights?"

"Britta didn't bring the lights," Jeff scoffs in defense and Britta agrees.

"Yeah, you think I have Christmas lights just hanging around my apartment?" She asks. "Shirley probably misread the box."

"It was all they had left," Shirley sighs. "They were cheap. I never considered that maybe they weren't normal."

"Greendale isn't normal, Shirley," Abed deadpans. "These lights don't change anything about the way we see Greendale or how we see Christmas. It's all about what it means to us, not about the material things that really have no meaning."

Shirley smiles gratefully at him. "Thank you, Abed."

"Abed's right," Annie beams gleefully. "Even though we probably won't be able see by the end of the day."

"Yeah, these lights are _crazy_ bright," Troy shields his eyes. "Reminds me of a rave or something."

Britta starts, "You want to know what else is crazy?"

"No," Jeff immediately shoots her down, turning to Troy again. "Troy, word number two."

"Oh, right. Sorry."

"What else is on this list?" Britta shouts, enraged, but the rest of the group ignores her.

"You know who is on _my_ list?" Pierce winks ironically. "Michelle Pfeiffer. She's old enough to bang me now, right?"

They all pull faces and Troy says, "Michelle Pfeiffer is _not_ Eartha Kitt, dude."

Pierce sighs. "Ah, airplane bathrooms."

Ignoring Pierce's comment, Annie says, "Hey, Eartha Kitt did some good things with her career."

"Not as much as Michelle Pfeiffer," Jeff shakes his head. "And she's not _nearly_ as attractive."

Shirley scolds, "Do not speak ill of the dead, Jeffrey."

"Michelle Pfeiffer's career has been extensively varied," Abed comments. "There were big hits, like _Scarface_ and _Batman Returns_, which ignited her career. And then there were obvious misses, like the critically disgraced and ultimately disappointing sequel, _Grease 2_."

"Ugh, that movie _sucked_," Annie agrees. "And _Grease_ is my favorite musical, too."

"Musicals aren't my thing," Jeff says. "But I'll definitely give you _Batman Returns_. She was hot."

"Wait, _Batman_? Like with Christian Bale?" Britta asks and they all groan.

"No, that's the remake," Jeff corrects with a smirk. "One of many."

"Whatever," Britta waves it off. "I've never seen any of them. I'm not a superhero-movie fan."

Abed gasps and Troy says, disappointedly, "You're like the _Spiderman 3_ of people!"

"That means nothing to me," Britta crosses her arms. "I haven't seen that movie either!"

"Well it sucks," Jeff tells her. "Get it? So do you."

She sticks her tongue out at him and it's then, as the study group's banter goes on and on, that Shirley realizes spending time with the people you love most is what Christmas is all about.

* * *

><p><strong>In case you haven't quite caught on, each chapter will be from a different study group member's perspective. Thanks for reading and I hope you enjoyed!<strong>


	4. 9 Costume Changes

Music Theory and Yuletide Traditions

"_On the ninth day 'til Christmas, Greendale gave to me: twelve useless credits, eleven POP-POP!s, ten blinking lights, __**nine costume changes**__…_"

9 Costume Changes

If someone had told Pierce Hawthorne he would be wasting his elder life in a community college, he would have laughed in this person's face.

His early childhood had not given any kind of notion that the rest of his life would fall to shit later on. His mother had been one cut out of a parenting novel; firm, but still warm, fair, but not a pushover, and helpful, but not aggressive. She babied him, but that's because Pierce was an only child and a serious mama's boy- something that irked his father to no end. He took no real interest in what his father had to say until it was too late- something _else_ that irked his father to no end. By the time he grew into the family business, Cornelius Hawthorne didn't trust him well enough to deal with the franchise.

When Pierce entered the world of Hawthorne Wipes, he saw everything from a whole new perspective. No one looked down upon him; quite the opposite, actually. Everything he wanted, he had within five minutes of asking. There were people willing to go to any length to make him happy, something Pierce had only encountered when he was growing up with his overindulgent mother, and he was willing to exploit that power as often as possible. Did he really _need_ a foot rub while being fed shrimp cocktail in a power-massaging chair? Well, not really. But the point was, it was _there_ and he intended to take advantage of it while he still had the chance.

Along with these chances and opportunities came the many different people Hawthorne Wipes catered to and allowed Pierce to meet. This meant highfaluting businessmen, but also more women than Pierce could ever count on one hand. This was how he met his first wife, actually, by courting the daughter of one of his father's best customers. As time grew on, his wives' appearances grew more ridiculous and their names more unique, but this one, Kendra Buchanan, was a knockout. She and Pierce dated for a good two years before their marriage… which ended in a painful divorce when she found him sleeping with their cleaning lady. This marriage, the first one, was the only one Pierce ever regretted losing.

The second marriage came when he married Casey the Cleaning Lady (he never cared enough to learn her last name) after a year of mixing business with pleasure. She wasn't as pretty or as intelligent as Kendra was, but she and Pierce were happy together, for a time. She made him home cooked meals and cleaned the house and always had a smile on her face as she was doing it all. But Pierce's mind was always somewhere else, off in the board room, off in his overnight work he brought home, off in the clouds, imagining a different life. So, his way of getting people to let go was push them, prod them, test their endurance until they pulled away first. Upon his divorce with Casey, Pierce mourned their deceased relationship for a few months before looking in the want ads for a new maid.

Dawn Richards was his third wife and the most ironic thing about Dawn was the fact that her name meant daybreak and new beginnings, since Pierce really got nowhere with her. She was a night owl, a party animal, and someone so wild even Pierce had had enough by the end of their eight-month-long relationship. He thought marriage and family-life might calm her down, slow her roll, but it did not. Instead, she was more unhappy than he was, and their marriage was annulled shortly after it was performed.

After a six-month-long dating life, Pierce then married Cordelia Lennox, a tall, gangly blonde with six kids and horrible credit history. She was definitely the haughty, in-control type, but even Pierce liked to relinquish control once in awhile. He could handle Cordelia's demanding needs, but the six kids (most of whom didn't have the same father)? Absolutely unnecessary. The oldest two were adults, the youngest was sixteen, but still, Pierce wasn't exactly the "fatherly" type. He tried giving his twenty-year-old stepson advice once and in return, the young adult had slashed Pierce's tires. When the fourth divorce was final, Pierce was more relieved than ashamed.

His fifth wife's name was Iris Rose (kind of like the "Mary Anne" of the hippie generation) and Pierce, honest to Buddha, could not remember why he ever thought dating her was a good idea, let alone marrying her. She never shaved her legs or underarms and used an organic body spray made of tea leaves and ginger instead of deodorant. Iris Rose showered maybe once a week, twice if you were lucky, and ate only roots and herbs, because she believed that "everything taken from the Earth is a sacred, living thing" and should not be consumed for tarnish in the human body. Their entire relationship, marriage and all, lasted two months. To this day, Pierce is still shocked it lasted that long.

Sixth time was the charm, or so Pierce thought when he married Cheval (French for "horse" and man, did she look like one). He met her on a business trip in Paris, where he was endorsing Hawthorne Lingettes, the French version of his very popular moist towelette. He and Cheval were an item for about a month before they returned to the United States to marry. Pierce enjoyed her company; the random French phrases she would come out with, her thick accent when she spoke in English, and the wondrous things she could do with her tongue. However, the language and customs were a huge barrier, and their relationship fizzled after only a month.

The seventh and final marriage was one of those shot-gun, married-in-Vegas-drunk-by-Elvis kind of weddings. Pierce had met Annahstayjiah (real name, real spelling) at the hotel he was staying in one weekend in Vegas just a good five or six years back. She was an, ahem, _erotic_ _dancer_ and had sensed his wealth and Pierce was lonely, just looking for a good time. And a good time is what they had, because hours later and after many, many drinks, Pierce and Annahstayjiah were married by a black Elvis impersonator singing "Heartbreak Hotel." They were divorced three weeks later.

So Greendale seemed like the best option and Pierce Hawthorne spent twelve years finding a "higher education" (except not really) before he met the members of the infamous study group. They argue and claim that _he_ is the bad guy and Pierce doesn't blame them; he has done some unforgivable things. But, with a background as foggy and messed up as his is, could you blame him for the things he's said and done? He wasn't lying at the end of the second year when he said he was done with them; he was sick and tired of the way they treated him, ignored him, and made fun of everything he did. But this was also his last chance at having a semblance of a family and, call him crazy for returning, but a family isn't something he's willing to pass up.

Friday December 16th, Greendale Community College is still in session and Pierce grumbles as he makes his way through the icy weather and the early-morning sun, believing he was much too old to deal with this weather. Classes were waning lately; mostly because the semester technically ended a week prior and the Dean's obsession with making the school of Ivy League territory kept them all past their will. Pierce half-salutes Starburns on his way to the study room and tries to ignore Leonard, who only gets him into trouble.

The study room is ice cold and as he enters, Pierce comments, "Jeez! It's like a mortuary in here!"

"He would know. That's where he visits all his friends," Jeff tells Britta, who half-smirks, half-shivers in response.

"Not that it's any of your business, but I _did_ have to identify a body, once," Pierce frowns. "If only you mere mortals believed in Reformed Neo-Buddhism. No one dies!"

"Asterisk," Jeff says and the group chuckles.

Pierce, who is used to being outshined and made fun of by Jeff Winger by now, shrugs and sits down just as Dean Pelton bursts into the study room, dressed, as usual, in a ridiculous costume. His shoes jingle, but that's not the first thing they all notice; apparently, he has thrown all secular ideals out the window and is dressed, now, as Santa Claus. He's dressed head to toe in a blinding red suit, with white fluffy trim and a big, obnoxious beard. The Santa hat has "Christmas-dale!" embroidered on it and everyone is, of course, shocked.

"Dean, ho, ho!" Dean Pelton hollers, resting a hand on Jeff's shoulder as he says, "I heard the Human Beings have been _very_ good this year!"

"Sure," Britta states. "But this school is supposed to be non-denominational, so…"

"And our Dean hasn't been very good," Annie puts in. "Do you know he's keeping us past the last day of classes and extending finals week?"

"This Dean of yours sounds very intelligent," Dean-as-Santa says, shaking his belly like a bowl full of jelly. "I wanted to stop by to wish you all a very joyous holiday- no matter _what_ you celebrate! Santa loves you all!"

"So does Jesus!" Shirley exclaims. "Which is what Christmas is all about!"

Pierce turns to Troy as the Dean scurries out of the room. "So you think my Buddhist regalia is stupid but you won't admit the Dean's outfits are gay?"

"Pierce," Britta shakes her head. "Gay is not a synonym for lame."

"Dude, your outfits are _hilarious_," Troy laughs. "The Dean's are just… gleeful."

And as if he was cued in, Dean Pelton reenters the room, this time his costume much more womanized. He's dressed in a red and white dress with gold trim, white stockings, and black boots with obnoxious golden buckles. He has a wig on with a hat that looks like a seat cushion and tiny spectacles resting on his nose. Everyone stares at him as if he's lost it. This can't _honestly_ be the person who runs their school. "Happy Dean-idays! Mrs. Claus here just following in my husband's footsteps to say hello and Merry Christmas!"

"You look…" Jeff trails off, his face horrified.

"Sloppy," Abed finishes for him and the rest of the group nods in agreement.

"Well, it's all they had," Dean Pelton frowns.

Annie says, a bit apprehensive, "Why…?"

"Well it came with the Santa suit and what's one without the other?" Dean Pelton sighs, leaving the room.

"That's what I always say about Bonnie and Clyde," Pierce winks and the group groans.

It is, of course, only about an hour before the Dean comes back, this time in his most complex costume of all. The Santa suit has returned, but this time it's tattered and he's wearing green stockings underneath. There's an entire year's worth of green face paint all over his visage, giving him much more of a Wicked Witch of the West look than whatever he's trying to pull off. He has a puppy on his arm wearing antlers and states, "My heart may be two sizes too small-"

"Are you referencing the original cartoon version of _How the Grinch Stole Christmas_?" Abed asks. "Or the big-budget Jim Carrey remake that was not at all as satisfying?"

"-But Greendale's heart is always growing three sizes each day!" The Dean cries. "So come on down to the cafeteria where we're serving roast beast and Who Hash- before I steal it all away!"

"Seriously, is this a competition?" Jeff asks.

Pierce snorts. "No one else is in the running!"

"That we know of," Shirley says nicely.

The Dean harrumphs and exits the room as the group gets back to studying. They break for class and for lunch and as they're enjoying their "roast beast and Who Hash" (roast beef and a mashed combination of potatoes and squash. No one touches it after Abed confirms its identity), the Dean enters the cafeteria in a brown bodysuit, antlers on his head and his green face paint traded in for a small, red blinking nose. He gallops towards the different tables, handing out candy canes, and when he reaches the study group, Dean Pelton says, "Rudolph the Red-Nosed Dean-deer!"

"Had a ridiculous amount of costumes stashed away in his office?" Jeff finishes.

They chuckle and the Dean states, "Well, you laugh, Jeffrey, but I am here to announce a great cause!"

"A petting zoo?" Britta asks sarcastically.

"I am _not_ going to that," Troy scoffs. "I'm not petting the Dean."

Pierce laughs. "A gay petting zoo?"

"Anyway," Dean Pelton cuts them off. "Help me and my eight reindeer brother and sisters bring gifts to the visiting elementary school children in the teacher's lounge!"

"Someone get those kids out of here before they lose brain cells," Jeff says.

Annie and Abed nod, grinning. "We're on it."

They reconvene in the study room, after Abed and Annie direct the elementary school teachers away from their obviously disturbed Dean, and as they're about to begin their assignment, the Dean returns and now, instead of being shocked, everyone expects it and is incredibly annoyed. This time he's dressed in blue, his face in white, and his hat jingly and pointy, each point having a blue bell. He's Jack Frost, which Abed points out to the group because no one else gets it, and says, "The weather may be frightful, but the holidays are _always_ delightful!" No one responds.

"Some people have complained that I'm not representing all holidays of the season," The Dean states moments later, entering the room in a giant cardboard box shaped like a dreidel. "So join me in dreidel-making in the cafeteria! Remember- they're made of clay and we can only play with them when they're dry and ready!"

He points at Annie, winks, and is gone. She pulls a face. "You know, that's pretty stereotypical. My Mom and I don't play with dreidels or eat latkes."

"You don't?" Pierce questions. "Well, you're not a real Jew."

The rest of the afternoon consists of Dean Pelton in more ridiculous outfits. It's as if he's trying to compete with himself; to top everything he's ever done with these upcoming costumes. From then on, Dean Pelton dresses in a dashiki and brandishes a Kwanzaa candelabra ("Happy Kwanzaa! I'm representing my black heritage with unity and determination for a better tomorrow!"), he dresses as a Christmas tree ("Oh Dean-mas tree, oh Dean-mas tree!"), and as an angel, before Jeff finally snaps.

"What in the hell," He grumbles. "Are you trying to accomplish?"

"This time I would like to bring you some heavenly news," The Dean grins. "Someone tipped off our administrative offices that our holiday dance doesn't represent everyone's beliefs. So we are splitting the dance into three! There will be a Christmas-themed dance, a Hanukkah-themed dance, and a Kwanzaa-themed dance!"

They all stare at him before he breaks down. "I'm sorry! I guess I went a little overboard with the costumes today!"

"Do you think?" Pierce snorts.

"I'm sorry!" Dean Pelton wails. "I'm just trying to make things at Greendale special!"

"Aw pumpkin," Shirley coos. "I appreciate it!"

"So do I," Annie grins, standing and putting an arm around the Dean's shoulders. "Would you like to come over to our apartment tomorrow? We're getting together to watch a movie, just the seven of us."

"Annie, I would love to!" Dean Pelton grins through watery eyes. He then looks down towards Jeff. "Will you be in attendance, Jeffrey?"

"Unfortunately," Jeff responds tightly and Britta shoots him a scolding look.

"Wait, why didn't I know about this?" Pierce asks and Troy shrugs.

"I sent you an e-mail about it two weeks ago."

Slamming his phone against the table, Pierce frowns. "Stupid new technology. I'm always the last to know everything."

"I don't think it's the technology's fault," Abed states. "If anything, it's a user error."

They laugh and Pierce lets this one go. He's used to it by now.


	5. 8 Cups of Cocoa

Music Theory and Yuletide Traditions

"_On the eighth day 'til Christmas, Greendale gave to me: twelve useless credits, eleven POP-POP!s, ten blinking lights, nine costume changes, __**eight cups of cocoa**__…_"

8 Cups of Cocoa

Abed Nadir is not as vapid as he looks and his inability to understand emotions allows him to observe situations without hesitation or care for others feelings. It had been that way his entire life; his parents had never really taken much interest in him, but maybe it was because Abed's inability to connect with his parents hindered their relationship. He never was sure why his parents argued so much throughout the six short years they were married (although he assumed it had something to do with the thousands of medical visits his mother forced him to go to that never yielded results) and he never got the answer.

Upon his sixth year of life, with his mother long gone, Abed and his father had pretty much stopped speaking about anything except falafel. Instead of having a hands-on approach to parenthood, Gobi Nadir provided his son with his basic needs and spent the rest of his time at the falafel restaurant, leaving Abed to fend for himself. So of course, Abed turned to the only outlet he knew- media. He watched anything and everything; from classic TV shows like _I Love Lucy _ and _Leave it to Beaver_ to modern day shows, such as _The Office_ and _How I Met Your Mother_. His range of knowledge of film came from many, many marathons of horror films, dramas, romantic comedies, and crude humor; each time a new movie was released, it was Abed's job to view and critique it.

It was after watching _E.T._ and _Jaws_ that Abed decided he wanted to be a filmmaker. Stephen Spielberg was his idol and Charlie Kaufman was his hero and if there was anything he wanted most in the world, it was to have his work showcased at Sundance. He began by making short documentaries on his everyday life, his father wanting no part in it, and then his obsession grew. He wrote screenplays and it grew. He made a film memoir and it grew. He got accepted into Greendale Community College and it grew. It grew and grew until filmmaking wasn't Abed's career or his hobby. It was his _life_.

Greendale has been an odd place to spend his young adult life and there are times that he wishes he was able to understand and convey emotions. It wasn't so much of an issue with Jeff or with Pierce; the former refused to emit genuine emotion unless pressured into it and the latter kept all his true feelings bottled up inside until, in one violent explosion, they all were revealed. He and Troy had a true "bromance;" they were the best of friends and understood each other's thoughts and desires, so feelings and emotion never truly got in the way.

But it was different with the girls. Girls in general, TV and films taught him, were very emotional people. You had to watch what you said around them, Abed learned, because there were things you could say to guys that, if you said them to a girl, she would get offended, upset, or angry over. Abed learned that lesson the hard way when he befriended Shirley, Britta, and Annie. But he had a filter, now; he knew what he could and couldn't say around these three and he was always super aware of these things.

Shirley is easily offended by crude humor and anything non-religious, but other than these major points, she isn't easily offended by their usual banter. Abed typically makes sure not to poke fun at Catholicism, because he knows Shirley takes her religion seriously, and he knows well enough not to mention comparisons of Islam to Christianity when Shirley is on one of her religious rants. Shirley is also very easy to talk down, so if Abed does make the small mistake of upsetting or offending her, it usually only takes a few calming words to make everything okay again.

Britta, on the other hand, is probably the one to most easily offend. In the two and half years of knowing her, Abed noticed that pretty much anything could get Britta riled up. Her past days as a rallying vegetarian anarchist have caused her to become super sensitive to even the most minute of causes. Usually, Abed decides that if Britta's a part of the conversation, which she usually is, the less he says, the better the situation turns out. He knows that most romantic comedies and a lot of horror movies objectify women, so his references would be useless, anyway. And, Abed's learned, talking Britta out of an offended rant is like trying to sit through all seven _Saw_ movies in one sitting. Impossible.

Annie is the trickiest to decipher, but that's because Abed has come to realize that Annie is the most difficult to offend. Annie's still young; her mind hasn't been tainted by the realities of life and the cold, hard truths that adults have the burden of knowing. Annie doesn't mind the occasional crude comment and joins in on his and Troy's ridiculous adventures, even when they're silly and lame, like pretending the Dreamatorium can actually transport you places. But it's that sort of thing that makes Annie, well, perfect.

Abed may not be able to sort, understand, and convey genuine emotions, but he can, to some extent, sense them in other people and, of course, he still has _feelings_. Emotions and feelings are things Abed has trouble with, but the easiest and most noticeable thing, to him, is romantic feelings, because he has seen them so many times before in innumerous films and television shows. He watched as Ross fell for Rachel, as Zack fell for Kelly, as Corey fell for Topanga, as Jesse fell for Becky, as Will fell for Lisa, as Tony fell for Angela… the list goes on and on. His strong sense of studying people can always understand why they would fall for each other, too.

The moment Annie first set her batting, doe-eyes on Troy, Abed could sense that she had strong, unrequited feelings for his future best friend. When he learned that Annie had had a crush on Troy for years and years, he understood; Annie was the ultimate girl-next-door and Troy was the ultimate cool and popular jock. It just made _sense_. He knew there was something about Annie that Troy would like too and when his best friend never pursued a relationship with her, Abed was astounded. She was smart, beautiful, and dedicated to herself and her friends; who _wouldn't_ want to date Annie Edison?

Abed wasn't even going to get into the romantic entanglement that was Jeff, Britta, and Annie. At times he thinks they should just have a dramatic threesome and be done with it, with the group finding out later in some comedic way, but then he realizes this would be the worst possible outcome of the situation (plus, if there's anything TV has taught him, it's that the third person must always, _always_ be a stranger). He can sense there's something more to the Jeff-and-Britta dynamic than they're willing to admit and knows Annie can sense this too, which explains why she feels the need to cling on to her last grasp of Jeff so badly.

But lately, ever since Annie had moved into their apartment, Abed can sense these _feelings_ growing within himself. Annie's gorgeous and sweet and always has his best interest at heart, but Abed never really expected to get involved in the group's romantic entanglements. He was so used to being able to watch from the outside, offer advice, and suggest solutions via TV and film references that he never saw this… this _thing_ coming. Maybe he should've expected it after his and Annie's kiss during last year's paintball game. Hmm.

Anyway, snow is falling on this snowy Saturday morning, December 17th is the date. Troy is excitedly vacuuming the living room area, Annie having just showed him how her expensive vacuum worked, and preparing to move the television and chairs into this area for the group's impromptu movie day. Annie's washing the morning dishes, every so often looking up and out the window to watch the snow fall, smiling ever so slightly each time a few inches of flakes accumulated on the icy streets below. Abed smiles too and gathers a few mugs from the cabinet above his head.

"We should make hot cocoa," Abed states and Annie turns to look at him.

"We should," She says at first and then adds, "But _real_ hot cocoa, not that gross cold stuff you drink."

Troy gasps, shutting off the vacuum. "Annie, do _not_ diss Special Drink!"

"No, she's right," Abed nods. "Special Drink may be an ingenious concoction, but the real thing everyone craves is the symbol of the holiday season. That's hot cocoa. We can serve it with the candy cane-shaped cookies we made last night."

"Aren't candy canes symbols of Christmas?" Troy asks in confusion. "And isn't Christmas the holiday none of us celebrate?"

"I don't know," Annie says. "I think of candy canes as more of a symbol of winter than of Christmas. And even if they are just for Christmas, think of how happy it'll make Shirley!"

Troy shrugs. "That's true. Worth it!"

He grabs one just before Annie swats his hand away and grins cheekily at her when she mock glares at him. Shaking her head, Annie drains the sink and continues to dry and replace the dishes back where they should be as Abed watches her. Troy shoots him an odd glance before shaking his head and continuing to arrange chairs and sofas around the television. Around an hour later, Annie buzzes the group in and greets them all warmly as they walk through the door. Everyone's excited and buzzing and Dean Pelton (wait, call him Craig, it's after school hours) is overjoyed to be included in their weekend plans.

"Okay, get comfy guys!" Annie suggests. "Abed and I are making hot cocoa and we made cookies last night, so enjoy!"

"Have we decided what we're watching?" Jeff asks, already reaching for his phone as he collapses onto the sofa. "Because if I have to sit through _It's A Wonderful Life_ again, I swear I'm going to hang myself."

"Oh, Jeffrey!" Craig says, moving to sit beside him, but Jeff's quicker, and he yanks Britta's arm so she sits beside him instead.

"Subtle," She murmurs and he rolls his eyes.

"Lesser of two evils."

"We decided on _A Christmas Carol_," Troy informs them, opening the plastic case and moving to place it in the DVD player. "And anyone who has a problem with that can take it up with me. I'll kick all of your asses."

"Ooh, that's nice!" Shirley claps excitedly from the left armchair. "I watch Mickey's _A Christmas Carol_ every year with my boys to remind them that there are people less fortunate in the world."

They stare at her. Pierce asks, "And Mickey does that for you, Shirley?"

"Well, I try to keep the subject matter light!"

Meanwhile, Abed was busy pouring hot cocoa into eight coffee mugs while Annie placed cinnamon sticks and tiny marshmallows into each cup. Abed smiles. "All finished."

"Mm, smells _amazing_," Annie squeals. "This was a great idea."

Abed nods and turns to bring each member of their little family a nice, steaming cup of cocoa. "Eight cups of cocoa! Come and get it!"

Pierce takes his and sighs. "I never get any of your references."

They settle into the movie, then, and just as Ebenezer Scrooge is about to be visited by the first of many ghosts, Abed decides to take a cross-section of the room. Shirley is seated farthest away, on an armchair, clutching her cocoa and taking slow sips. She's watching the movie intently and seems to be enjoying it thoroughly. Every so often, she'll glance down at the floor, where Troy is seated, and the two will share a moment, a laugh, or a few descriptive words about the movie. Troy says something, Shirley laughs, and the two high-five before turning back to their hot cocoa, their eyes set on the television screen.

On the end of the couch is Pierce, who burns his mouth on the cocoa at the first sip and spends the first fifteen minutes of movie-watching time swearing and spluttering. Craig, who is seated beside Pierce, puts down his own cocoa and gets napkins for Pierce to soak up the spilled cocoa with. They interact a while longer, shouting in a hushed whisper, before Pierce finally swallows his pride and thanks Craig, who grins humbly and resettles himself on the couch, soul flushed and warm.

Opposite of Craig are Britta and Jeff, in that order, who are not paying attention to the movie or anyone else. Every now and then their eyes find the screen again, but it isn't long before they're both pettily bantering about some aspect of the movie and their attention is lost. Abed watches, semi-knowingly, semi-amused as Jeff and Britta interact quietly to themselves, lost in their own little world. They may not think he catches emotion, may not think he even pays attention to them or knows what he's talking about, but actions speak louder than words. The look on Britta's face and the sheer adoration in Jeff's eyes says it all.

And finally, he and Annie are sharing the other armchair. It had started out with him seated there, but when Annie returned with her own mug of cocoa, with nowhere left to sit, Abed had easily slid over to the side and motioned for her to sit beside him and, with a grin, she had. They're sitting, now, watching the movie intently and, as Abed notices, holding hands. The eerie ghost of Jacob Marley has always freaked her out, Annie claims. Abed pretends this isn't why.

They're so engrossed in the movie that they don't notice as Britta slips away and in a few moments, so does Jeff. They're broken out of their trance a few moments later when Pierce begins coughing violently. They let it go for a while before they realize it's been a good twenty minutes and he hasn't stopped. When Abed and Annie turn to look at him, he's turning blue and coughing, wheezing as he falls against the back of the couch. Annie shrieks, "Oh my God, he's choking!"

And then there's a world of chaos. Shirley begins shrieking and sending prayers to God and Jesus to help them out, to save his soul, to have mercy upon him because it's _Christmas_. Troy is scream-crying, asking why this happening, growing louder and louder as the chaos ensues. Annie allows herself a few seconds to panic before snapping to action and asking Abed and Craig to help her stand Pierce up so she can perform the Heimlich maneuver. The entire room is loud and indecipherable; Annie is shouting for Pierce to hold on as she forces the object out of his throat, Shirley is still yelling, and Troy continues to scream-cry as Pierce coughs and a tiny, partially-digested marshmallow flies across the room.

Tears in his eyes, Pierce turns to hug Annie. "Annie! You saved my life! I always knew you were my favorite!"

She hugs back. "I did what I had to do. I'm just glad you're okay."

Just then, as things are somewhat falling back into the normal range, Jeff and Britta race into the room, disheveled and disoriented. "What happened? What's going on? We heard screaming."

They all stare at them for a moment before Troy asks, "Where the hell were you?"

The two share a glance. "Um… We went for a walk…?"

"In the snow?" Annie eyes them suspiciously.

"Sure," Jeff shrugs, retaking his seat on the couch as Britta does the same.

"In the freezing cold?" Shirley questions, her 'I'm not buying it' voice reigning clear.

"Uh huh," Britta nods nonchalantly and Pierce, senses regained, laughs.

"Ha! They totally did it!" He accuses and when the group's attention snaps to the two haphazardly clothed members on the couch, Jeff scoffs.

"Okay, you guys shouldn't even be shocked anymore," He rolls his eyes. "We were bored. This movie sucks."

"Cool," Abed states. "Jeff and Britta spent last Christmas together too. We're being visited by the Ghost of Christmas Past!"

"Um, Abed," Annie begins, grabbing his arm. "Help me in the kitchen for a second?"

"Sure," He nods and follows her as the rest of the group goes off on Jeff and Britta.

Once they're out of earshot of the group, Annie breaks down, saying, "It's really not that big of a deal that they hooked up again, right?"

"Jeff and Britta?" Abed asks, even though he knows that's who she's talking about. "Hmm. Their matched egotistical and self-deprecating personalities only add fuel to their constant sexual tension, which to them is only solvable by sexual intercourse. It's a vicious cycle."

"Yeah, but I honestly thought it was tension-relieving, you know?" Annie sighs. "I thought they were done when they called it off last year. I thought Jeff and I… I don't know. I thought we were finally _going_ somewhere. But I can't change him. No one can. And he _knows_ that. And he knows Britta won't make him change."

"You shouldn't be with someone who needs to change for you, Annie," Abed tells her, straight to the point. "You should be with someone who is everything you want _without_ having to change to make it that way."

"I know, it's just," Annie inhales and exhales slowly before continuing. "I never feel like I'm getting anywhere, you know? First with Troy, and then Jeff, and then you, and then Jeff again, and then Troy, and then Jeff again. It's like this horrible circle and I can't get away from it. Jeff kissed me and I thought we were finally going to have our moment, but he _still_ ended up with Britta. Troy kissed me and I thought it was what I always wanted, but it turned out to be… well, just _ordinary_."

"Troy kissed you? When? Where?" Abed asks immediately and Annie startles at the hurriedness of his tone.

"Wednesday after school," Annie answers. "And it was nice, don't get me wrong. But we felt so… _awkward_ afterwards. We decided it was best if we just… kind of… let it go."

"What about me?" Abed probes, looking her in the eye daringly. "Or was it just Don Draper and Han Solo you were attracted to?"

"What? No! Of course not!" Annie's quick to disagree. "Abed, of course I like you. I think you're great."

He quirks an eyebrow at her, smiling wryly. "Then prove it."

Her eyes widen but quickly brighten as he pulls her in for a kiss, his hands wrapping firmly around her waist as she brings her arms to rest around his neck. It's different this time, but maybe it's because he makes it different. He's not playing a role, this time, and he isn't trying to impress her. This isn't paint-slick Abed-as-Han locking lips with paint-sodden Annie-as-Princess Leia. This time, it's just Abed Nadir kissing Annie Edison and it's, somehow, perfect.

They pull back and Annie grins at him. "There wouldn't even be a Don Draper or a Han Solo to be attracted to if there wasn't an Abed Nadir first."

"Cool," Abed smiles broadly. "Cool, cool, cool."


	6. 7 Secret Santas

Music Theory and Yuletide Traditions

"_On the seventh day 'til Christmas, Greendale gave to me: twelve useless credits, eleven POP-POP!s, ten blinking lights, nine costumes changes, eight cups of cocoa, __**seven Secret Santas**__…_"

7 Secret Santas

Despite being raised in the Jewish faith, Annie Edison had always loved the Christmas season and all the holiday traditions that came with it. There was nothing merrier than the world at Christmastime- all the holly and mistletoe hanging everywhere, the gorgeous ornamented trees that stood higher and higher each year, the snow-covered buildings and tiny tracks where people had stepped on their way to work and school. In elementary school, Annie had listened, wide-eyed as a friend of hers told their third grade class all about the special Christmas traditions she and her family had every year; they would take a walk through a local tree farm to find the perfect one for their home, they would decorate it and sing Christmas carols the whole time, and on Christmas Eve, they would leave a plate full of Christmas cookies out for Santa Claus.

That very same day, Annie remembers going home and asking her parents if they too could get a Christmas tree, if they could hang mistletoe, if they could bake Santa-shaped cookies and build gingerbread houses. Her mother had all but laughed in her face, telling her this month was for _Hanukkah_ and Christmas was for people who no longer associated holidays with religion. That was the first time Annie had heard the story of the Festival of Lights. Her mother had sat her down in front of the menorah and explained the history behind the holiday; "Judah the Hammer" had led a rebellion against those who outlawed Judaism, the Temple was cleansed and rededicated, but they didn't have enough oil, and wasn't it a miracle, Annie, that the oil that should have only burned for one night burned for eight instead? Annie had nodded eagerly in fascination.

So each night, Annie watched with bright eyes as her mother lit more and more candles. She sat very still in Temple and paid attention to every last detail of the story of King Antiochus III the Great and the invasion of the Tobiads. She realized that Hanukkah, the holiday she had celebrated for eight years without truly understanding, _was_ a miracle and it was a huge and fantastic one at that. The look in her mother's eyes when telling her the story and the grins and gleeful expressions her grandparents gave her when cooking latkes or spinning the dreidel definitively told Annie not to ask about Christmas again.

But it didn't stop her from being curious about Christmas traditions and customs. Luckily for her, her father was Episcopalian, and had celebrated Christmas his entire life. They spent an entire weekend together talking about the birth of Jesus Christ in a manger behind an inn in Jerusalem, how shepherds and the three kings came to visit him and brought gifts to the savior, and then how the holiday was modernized so that Saint Nicholas brought presents to the good children around the world. Annie asked, if she was good and loved both of her parents equally, why couldn't they celebrate Christmas _and_ Hanukkah? Surely they're not the only families to think of this, right?

And that's where all the trouble started.

Annie's mother took offense to this, at first. She couldn't understand why her daughter would need more than one holiday at a time to remind her that her family's background was much more complicated than she knew. But once this new tradition of celebrating both set in, it became a competition; which one of her parents could entertain her with more interesting and exciting traditions. While setting up their menorah with her mother, Annie would then have to go out and decorate a Christmas tree with her father. After baking Christmas cookies, her mother would force Annie into frying up latkes for their neighbors. The confusion of overlapping traditions drove her _insane_ and soon, Annie regretted asking in the first place.

And soon, the holidays weren't the _only_ things her parents were competing over.

They both wanted different things for their daughter and they both had different outlooks of getting there. Her mother was very traditional and wanted everything to be perfect; perfect grades, perfect job, perfect college, perfect career. She wanted Annie to be happily married with children by the time she was thirty-five. But her father was much more laidback; he wanted her to do what _she_ wanted, to be happy, and to not put too much pressure on herself. These arguments, which started with just a simple suggestion from their then-eight-year-old daughter, are what fueled the fire for divorce.

Annie was okay with it, really. Her parents were completely different people and, once they were apart and happy again, she couldn't see why they had ever married in the first place. She made the choice (the _wrong_ choice) to live with her mother, giving her father visitation rights every weekend, which started out strong. But as the years went on and she grew older, her father visited less and less often. Now, if she saw him once a _year_ she was lucky. But anyway.

With her laidback father out of the way, her mother was free to raise her the way she wanted and that way was not very healthy for Annie Edison's psyche. She was strict on grades and schooling and when it came to colleges, Annie had applied to the best of the best because she knew if she settled for some second-rate school her mother would _never_ forgive her. But the pressure was too much; she wasn't studying enough, and when she did, she fell asleep in class. She couldn't focus on anything and her attention span matched that of a toddler. A girl in her math class offered her a few simple capsules and it spiraled from there.

The addiction to pills wasn't something Annie had ever expected of herself and she's ashamed to admit that was her past. There had been a high period, sure; there's _always_ a high period. She was staying awake in class again, even after pulling an all-nighter, she was focused and attentive on the task at hand, and her grades were steadily rising past her mother's expectations. But with every high period comes a low point and then, of course, a crash. A few capsules soon weren't enough for her and she began taking more and more. She needed it, she _craved_ it, and when she crashed through that plate glass window- in her defense, everyone _did_ look like a robot- she knew she had hit rock bottom.

So, out the window went her dreams of graduating from Harvard, being a doctor, having a house on the cape and a small family of two or three kids. Instead, Annie finally told her mother off, went to rehab, got clean and found herself back at the beginning- with nothing and no one supporting her. She was lucky she was such an avid babysitter, because she had a couple thousand dollars saved and that's what got her that little shithole apartment above the marital aids store (she _still_ has nightmares about the specials of the week). But Greendale Community College, although at such a pathetic caliber, seemed like coming _home_ for some reason. When she met the Spanish study group she now calls her best friends, she hadn't ever expected to love them like her own family, like she does now. It's cheesy, sure, but Greendale really is where Annie Edison belongs.

Today, Sunday December 18th, Annie pulls into a tight parking space outside of Starbucks, where the group has decided to meet to exchange gifts. It had been her idea, of course, but it was mainly because the only time they had ever gotten each other gifts was for the few birthdays they celebrated here and there and this year, she wanted things to be different. It's not as cold today, she notices, as she exits the vehicle and locks it behind her. For some reason, that puts her in a better mood.

The café is fairly empty for a Sunday morning and Annie waits in the short line before stepping up to the counter. "A tall gingerbread latte, please."

"Sure thing," The barista grins, putting in her order and beginning to mix her drink. It's something no one really even notices, it's unconscious, because in the next moment, he's handing her the latte and saying, "Here you go. Have a merry Christmas."

Annie half-chuckles. "Thank you. You too!"

Shaking her head, she finds a table big enough for all seven of them in the corner of the café and removes her coat and mittens. It's cozy and warm from the fireplace off on the other side of the room and Annie finds this excessive outerwear unnecessary. Sipping at her latte gently, Annie checks her phone- of course, she's ten minutes early- and reads through a few old text messages; one, last night, from Shirley asking which Starbucks they were meeting at, one, from Pierce, that's all numbers and symbols- he still hadn't learned how to text, and one a few minutes ago from Britta, saying her cat was vomiting and she'd be a little late.

Fifteen minutes later, the next person to walk in the door is Jeff, who shakes snow off his boots and throws a half-wave carelessly in Annie's direction. He orders a tall black coffee- that's his typical drink order and Annie knows this without even hearing it- and comes to sit by her. He smells of expensive cologne and that distinct winter smell; the one Annie always associates with Christmas- snow, cold, and pine trees. She takes another sip of her own latte before greeting him. "Morning Jeff."

"Hey," He says gruffly. "Where's everyone else?"

Annie shrugs. "Britta said she'll be late, Troy and Abed are at the movies, and I don't know about Pierce or Shirley. They'll be here."

Jeff nods and sits back against the chair, the steam from his coffee rising and melding with the tepid air. "And what exactly is the purpose of this little activity?"

"Secret Santa?" Annie asks incredulously. "Jeff! It's so much fun! In middle school, my friends and I used to do this every year. We would put all of our names into a Santa hat and then draw a slip of paper, one by one, until everyone had a person to give a gift to. It was so much fun, because you never knew who had you and the person you had never knew it was you."

"Is that why it's called Secret Santa?" Jeff questions sarcastically and Annie chuckles.

"Obviously!" She grins. "It's great. But then we got to high school and… they said we were too old for that. Truth was, they wanted to keep doing it, but they didn't want me to be a part of it."

Jeff frowns. "High school girls are complete bitches, Annie."

"Don't I know it," She agrees. "Whatever. Who needs them? That's what I have you guys for. You're my friends, now."

Jeff nods but wonders, "Don't you ever wish you had friends your own age? I'm not saying we're going to do the same thing to you, but-"

"Only all the time," Annie answers. "But let's face it; we're all pretty immature. We all act like twenty-year-olds at one point or another."

"Touché," Jeff smirks. "Plus if I was twenty, it would make _this_ much less ridiculous and awkward."

He gestures in the space in between them which signifies their "thing," whatever it was. Annie nods nervously. "Yeah. Sure would."

And that's when Annie realizes that this "thing" is completely dormant. It will never be nonexistent, no matter who they end up with in the future, because she and Jeff definitely have a connection. She can feel it whenever she's near him and she knows he can too, but when it all comes down to it, they're just not _right_. She wants so badly for him to be the one, but wanting something and it actually _being_ there are two different things. It's all a question of experience and she's not talking sexual experience, here. It's life experience, because Jeff is hardened and cynical from years upon years of being exposed to the real world, while Annie is still upbeat and optimistic because she hasn't yet experienced these things for herself.

This is all out there; every last one of these feelings fills the silence that follows the previous statement, but luckily, it's just _understood_. Jeff looks and Annie and smiles, a real genuine smile that she's not used to, but accepts all the same. She returns it and for some reason, this settles everything. There's no argument, no conversation, no awkward sexual encounter that they both would have regretted. They just smile and this, somehow, seals the gap, crosses the Ts and dots the Is, because now they _know_. They're okay; there will be no jealousy and tension over future lovers, no kissing and unresolved issues, no more awkwardness of yore. It's over, but somehow, it feels like a new beginning all in the same.

The rest of the members of the study group filter into the café in the moments that follow and soon, they're all seated around the wide circular table, clutching their gifts for each other and glancing toward the overjoyed brunette for further instruction. Annie squeals excitedly, "Okay, are your ready guys? This is _so_ exciting!"

"How exactly does this sort of thing work?" Shirley asks and the group nods as if they were going to ask the same.

"Well basically, I'll pick someone to go first, since this was my idea," Annie explains. "And then, when they give their present to their person, that person will go and so on. Okay?"

"Yeah."

"Sure."

"Mm-hmm."

"Okay, great!" Annie exclaims. "Britta, you go first."

"Me? Um, okay," Britta states, sliding her gift across the table. "I had Pierce. Merry Christmas."

Pierce grins, well, like a child on Christmas, and tears at the gift bag aggressively. The first thing he pulls out of the red and shiny bag is a bottle of Bordeaux, his favorite kind of red wine, and his eyes light up with excitement. He takes a moment to pop the cork out and sniff it, ensuring its authenticity even as the rest of the study group makes a face. Then, he pulls a soft, white sweater out of the bag as Britta explains, "I knitted it myself!"

"Hey look," Jeff states. "Britta knows how to knit stuff that _isn't_ for cats."

She glares at him and turns to Pierce, "Do you like it? I mean, it didn't cost me anything, that's why I got you the wine too. I already had the yarn, but if you don't like it, I can always give it to charity."

"This is one of the nicest things anyone's ever gotten me," Pierce says with genuine emotion. "Thank you, Brittles."

"Britta's fine," She corrects, but smiles. "You're welcome."

"My turn, then!" Pierce shouts and produces a small box from underneath the table. "I had Annie!"

Annie squeals and claps excitedly as she grasps her gift, untying the small white ribbon and carefully opening the red-and-green polka dot paper. She knew the spirit of the season was giving and was excited to give her gift too, but receiving is always fun, isn't it? When she finally removes all of the wrapping paper, she notices it's a box set of books and, excitedly, she flips the box over. It takes only a moment to realize it's the two _Maus_ books (You know; the ones that tell the story of the Holocaust through graphic novel? Yeah. That's the one). "Wow Pierce…"

"It's an eye-opener," He explains and winks ironically. "The Jews are represented as the tiny, conniving mice they are and the Nazis are cats-"

"Yeah, we read this book in eighth grade," Annie says carefully and then puts on a smile anyway. "It'll be… _great_ to read it again."

Pierce grins and Jeff says, tightly, "What a _thoughtful_ gift."

"A little insensitive," Shirley states and Britta and Troy agree.

"Well, anyway, thank you Pierce," Annie flashes him a smile. "My turn! I had Shirley! Merry Christmas!"

"Oh, that's nice!" Shirley says joyfully after she's unwrapped her gift. It's an ornate musical sculpture; when Shirley winds it up, "Joy to the World" plays and she excitedly sings along. There's a sculpture of Jesus, arms raised and welcoming, and beneath Him, reads, "Lord, I am not worthy to receive you, but only say the word and I shall be healed. Matthew 8:8."

"Oh Annie," Shirley says, teary-eyed. "This is wonderful!"

"It's something for to you pray on, you know, when you're sick or need help." Annie smiles. "I'm glad you like it."

"I love it!" She shrieks and the two hug. "Me next, then? I had Abed!"

"Cool," Abed beams, unwrapping his present. "It's the complete series of _Inspector Spacetime_."

"With a special note!" Shirley adds and Abed reads it aloud.

"Jesus loves Muslims too," Abed deadpans. "Merry Christmas. Thank you."

"You're welcome!"

"That was subtle," Jeff murmurs and Britta and Annie chuckle softly.

"Well I had Troy," Abed states, handing his gift to his best friend. "Merry Day-That-Coincides-With-Christmas."

"Thank you, Abed, for this Gift-That-Has-Nothing-To-Do-With-Christmas," Troy accepts and begins unwrapping the present that's so obviously a DVD. It's _Kickpuncher Los Angeles_, the recently released addition to the series that he and Abed had not yet seen. "_Kickpuncher L.A!_"

"Ooh, marathon tonight?" Annie asks and the other two agree whole-heartedly.

"This is why we're best friends," Troy grins and the two share their special handshake. "Alright, Jeff, man! I had you!"

"Oh joy," Jeff snorts but he's actually excited and accepts his present with relish. It's a long, but small box and when Jeff removes the bow and paper, it's a nice, white box from Nordstrom. When he opens it, he finds a very nice skinny tie resting on the cotton beneath it. It's navy blue with white, black, and sky blue stripes upon it and when Jeff picks it up, they all note it's made of _silk_. This definitely wasn't your average, ten-dollar tie. "Wow, Troy, this is… _really_ nice."

"Thanks, man," Troy smiles. "That's what you get your dad for Christmas, right? Ties? And you're kind of like the dad."

Jeff chuckles. "Yeah. I guess you're right."

"Anyway, I figured it was something you'd like," Troy shrugs. "It just seemed… _you_."

"Thank you," Jeff smiles and produces a present from his coat pocket. "Well I guess that means it's my turn. If you all haven't been following along, I had Britta."

"Oh, we're coming full circle," Britta teases. "I can't imagine what you got me. Is it a pocket Constitution, because I'm an anarchist? Oh, wait! It's a dead animal, because I'm a vegetarian?"

"Brit-ta, it's Christmas," Shirley states. "And surely Jeffrey won't mock you on Christmas! _He better not make this holiday into a farce!_"

"Relax, I didn't get her legal documents and dead animal flesh," Jeff rolls his eyes, handing the gift to her. "But that's a _great_ idea for next year."

"Fantastic," Britta says, shaking her head and beginning to unwrap the box. "I can't even _begin_ to compete with that…"

She trails off when she's finally taken the top off of the box and Annie and Shirley both gasp and squeal once they've peered inside. It's a gold butterfly pendant, ornate and intricate, and somewhat matches the one that Britta always wears around her neck. She takes it out of the box to examine it and is still pretty speechless when Jeff explains, "The clasp on the one you have now is broken, so I thought I'd replace it, you know, since you always wear it. Plus, all of the proceeds went to the Humane Society, so, win-win."

Britta's eyes snap to his. "Really?"

"Yeah," He shrugs as if it's no big deal, but everyone can tell he put a lot of thought into his gift.

"Oh, that's nice!"

"Aw, that's _so_ sweet!"

"Thank you," Britta says warmly and Jeff smiles.

"You're welcome."

"See?" Annie exclaims. "This is why Secret Santa is so much fun! You never know what you're going to get and the look on everyone's faces is the best feeling in the world!"

Everyone agrees and Annie Edison knows for a fact they've just formed a new group tradition.


	7. 6 Failed Sleigh Rides

Music Theory and Yuletide Traditions

"_On the sixth day 'til Christmas, Greendale gave to me: twelve useless credits, eleven POP-POP!s, ten blinking lights, nine costume changes, eight cups of cocoa, seven Secret Santas, __**six failed sleigh rides**__…_"

6 Failed Sleigh Rides

The day Britta Perry found out there was no Santa Claus was the day she turned into a cynic. Before then, she had been a happy-go-lucky, free-spirited child with the wind at her back and the whole world in her hands. She had been girly and loved ballet class, but still loved the rough and tumble hard play her older brothers engaged in and she could always hold her own. Her oldest brother had found out there wasn't a Santa Claus at age eight, her middle brother at age ten. But Britta had found out when she was seven and, because she was the youngest, she'd taken it the hardest.

An obnoxious little boy named Bobby Paulsen had told her there was no such thing and she called him a liar. She was in second grade and had just started learning about lying- the causes and the effects, the costs and the benefits, the gains and the consequences. She knew her brothers lied sometimes about what they were doing in their rooms, she knew her father lied about why he'd come home from work late, and she knew her mother lied all the time about what she was really doing when withdrew a lot of money from the bank. Lying was bad- that's what she'd been learning in school- and she knew Bobby Paulsen was lying to her.

But, when she'd told her parents, they'd revealed that, actually, he _hadn't_ been lying. Her father had been relieved and had proceeded to go downstairs to rewrite all of the present tags, glad the charade was over. Her mother apologized to her, but smiled and moved on with her life, completely unfazed by the fact that her daughter was no longer a child. Gone was the innocence of yore, because Britta felt like a completely different person. She was used to her brothers lying to her parents, her father lying to her mother, her classmates lying to her, but she never expected her parents to lie to her. Her own _parents_? Those are the two people you were supposed to depend on for everything. And it only spiraled out of control from there.

If her parents could lie to her, then _anyone_ could lie. Her church, for one. Her religion classes taught her nothing; how did anyone _know_ this is what happened? History classes ruined government for her- what a corrupt and useless piece of shit. It didn't take her very long to realize that _everyone_ lied- and about everything. So, she became the cynical, hardened, sardonic Britta Perry that everyone at Greendale first met. She spent so many years building herself up to be this person that, along the way, she forgot who she really was.

After a while, once her family more or less stopped speaking to her and somewhere in between the foot modeling and World Trade rallies, Britta realized that this person she tried so hard to be really wasn't her at all. But she was stuck behind this wall that she couldn't break down and, honestly, she wasn't sure she wanted to. She wanted everyone to see the real her, but at the same time, she was afraid of what they might think if she let them see that side of her. It was weird; she'd never really thought of herself as guarded until Jeff mentioned she was a couple years ago. But now, she thought about it _all_ the time.

She knows Jeff's guarded and from what she can tell, he'd always been that way; the problems most likely stemmed from his absent father and negligent mother. But what she is also coming to realize is that, unfortunately, she's more like him than she wants to admit. They're so frighteningly similar and maybe that's why they bicker like an old married couple. It's great, though, her relationship with Jeff. They're just… _secure_ with each other and that's the best way she can describe it. They just have that understanding that Britta doesn't have with anyone else and it's nice to know that even when she messes everything up, she'll still have Jeff, who will make fun of her, but love her for it anyway.

Anyway, this morning is a freezing-cold Monday, December 19th is the date. When Britta gets out of bed, she groans and wants nothing more than to crawl back in, but when she does, the cold has already seeped into her covers and she frowns. This means she _has_ to get of bed, but she doesn't have to like it, and does so begrudgingly, dragging her feet and dressing super slowly. It's been a nice, long weekend and she'd fully enjoyed it, so she's really not looking forward to sitting in classes all day, especially since they all should have ended forever ago.

She decides to layer her clothing this morning ("It was so much easier when you barely wore anything," Jeff complained last year as they hastily tried to hook up in his car, in the janitor's closet, in Duncan's office, etc. "This extra clothing is _really_ not working with the whole time management thing.") and decides on a simple sweater over a camisole, jeans, a leather jacket, and boots finishing off the wardrobe. After finishing her hair, she slides on the butterfly pendant Jeff got for her the day before, as a finishing touch. Her eyes slide guiltily towards the old one because she hasn't gotten rid of it yet and she's not sure she ever will. She should, as a final testament to that old bastard, but the memories of what they used to have would make her regret it for the rest of her life, so instead, it sits, lifeless and fading, on her dresser, forgotten.

The story of the butterfly pendant is long and not a good one, but it's part of Britta's past and part of what made her the way she is today. She was six years old and playing on the tire swing outside their house when her father came home from work, brandishing a smile she'd never seen before. He handed her a small little box and Britta had grinned; her father _always_ used to bring home special little gifts and trinkets every now and then to her and her brothers, just to remind them that even at work, he was still thinking of them. When Britta opened it, she found a small gold chain that wrapped around and ended in a beautiful butterfly, the metal twisting and gleaming in the faint sunlight as Britta stared in amazement.

Her father had taken it out of the box and clasped it around her neck, taking extra care to see that it hadn't gotten caught on her golden curls. As Britta held the butterfly between her fingers, feeling the cool metal and looking at the gleaming gold in the sunlight, her father had explained the beautiful wonder that was a butterfly; how they started as tiny, tiny little eggs morphing into larvae and spinning their own cocoon, how they spent months and months transforming into something completely different, and then how one day, they just broke free and became beautiful, majestic butterflies. Britta used wrap herself in her bed sheets at night, all cocoon-like, and break free in the morning, each day becoming someone new and different. To this day, she still wishes it was that easy to change.

Britta wore the butterfly pendant every day for the next five years. Then, one horrible late fall day when she was eleven, Britta had walked home from a terrible day of school. Like really terrible, as in she forgot lunch money, those stupid seventh grade girls in the bathroom had made fun of her outfit and judged her because she was a year younger than them, she failed her math test, and had to take an unprepared for gym because she forgot to bring clothes (actually, that part was kind of great). So she was ready to forget the world existed and entered her house fully intending to bury herself in a cocoon and come back as someone new. But instead, when she entered her house, she found her father, suitcases in hand, hurriedly leaving it.

Long story short, there had been a lot of yelling and crying lately between her parents, but this wasn't ever something Britta thought they couldn't fix. And yet, there was her father, shoving his belongings in the backseat of his Jaguar and saluting her as if she was some stranger. She asked where he was going and if he was coming back _and the bastard laughed_. To put the cherry on top of her a horrible day, now her father was leaving her. He sped off to a new life and left her all alone. In anger, she rushed to her bedroom, grabbed the butterfly around her neck and yanked with all her might. She felt power as it came free and when she threw it against her bedroom door with all her eleven-year-old might, she felt everything at once. The clasp broke and for some reason, Britta thought that severed ties between her and her father. It didn't.

As the years went on and she changed into many different people, her father continued to try and get in touch with her. He wanted to rebuild their relationship, so he suggested they meet for dinner, for lunch, for a movie, one time for a round of golf, even though, if he had stuck around, he would have known that Britta did _not_ play golf like some yuppie at a country club (she lost her virginity on a golf course and she's really not proud of that). She wasn't going to give her father the satisfaction of winning her back like one of his many ridiculous girlfriends. She moved to New York and the calls from her father finally stopped. But it had nothing to do with her move.

Her father died of a heart attack and it really shouldn't have shocked her, because he had never taken good care of himself and believed that doctors were useless conspiracy theorists. But the news of her father's death came as an awful blow to her ego. She _didn't_ have the upper hand, no matter how much she thought she did, and even though he hurt her, she should have tried to fix things between them. That night, after crying on the phone with her brothers for an hour, Britta packed up her things and decided to move back to Colorado. It was then that she found the broken butterfly pendant and had cried herself to sleep.

The necklace hadn't left her neck since she found it and it felt somewhat odd to be wearing a different one this morning. But she gives herself a once over in the mirror and loves the way this new one catches the sun and glimmers like summer even though it's seriously cold outside. Jeff's thoughtfulness truly touches her, but in a way, it's about much more than a silly Secret Santa. She had told him the butterfly pendant story a while back when he asked her why she always wore it. This new necklace was his little push; his way of saying, _It's okay to let go. It's been five years. It's time to move on_.

"Jesus, it's cold out here," Britta says to herself as she steps off the bus (no, she still hasn't picked up her car… shut up) and crosses the street towards Greendale's campus. It's a freezing-cold nineteen degrees out today and Britta shivers the entire way to the library. Even once she's inside the warm and cozy study room, the jacket-and-sweater combo is still not enough to warm her up. So she doesn't take off her scarf and hat, and her mittens stay on for good measure as well. This, of course, only makes her fodder for mockery.

"Good morning, Britta the Abominable Snowman," Jeff smirks. "North Pole's that way."

He points toward the hallway and they chuckle. Troy adds, "Seriously, you look hilarious. If we put a magic hat on your head, will you sing and dance for us?"

Again, there's laughter and Britta ignores this, plopping down in her seat and frowning at all of them. "Whatever. It's _freezing_ outside."

"Right, but we're _inside_," Annie says with a smile. "Or are you not used to the climate change because you're so used to living with Jack Frost?"

"Okay, can you all give it a rest?" She pleads, yanking out her Biology book as the others snicker but do the same. "Two-fifteen, right?"

"Is that the page number you want us on, or are those how many gifts you elves still have to make before Christmas?" Jeff teases and Britta rolls her eyes.

Before she can reply, she's saved by the Dean who bursts into the study room dressed like a jolly little elf. Britta shoots Jeff a look saying, "And you made fun of _me?_" just as Dean Pelton says, "Yoo-hoo, friends! I'm just calling in to let everyone know that Greendale is sponsoring free horse-drawn carriage rides through the campus today! Come on, it's lovely weather for a sleigh ride together with you!"

He manages to inappropriately touch Jeff, as usual, before he leaves and Annie squeals excitedly. "Oh my gosh! Sleigh rides! Guys, we _have_ to go!"

"Oh, that's nice!" Shirley agrees. "Andre and I used to take the boys on sleigh rides through the park when they were little! It'll be so much fun!"

"I don't know; we might lose Britta in the process," Jeff jokes. "She can't handle the cold."

"Shut up," Britta states and turns back to the group. "It's not even about the cold, guys. Do you know how awfully those carriage drivers treat the horses? The details would blow your mind."

Everyone groans and Troy whines, "Why do you have to take the fun out of everything?"

"And people say _I'm_ the one who's no fun?" Pierce scoffs, but no one really confirms or denies this.

"Come on, we _have_ to do this!" Annie pleads. "This is Greendale; I'm sure the horses are treated fairly."

"Fine," Britta gives in. "But the second I see any inhumane behavior-"

"You'll set them free and ride off into the sunset like in _Runaway Bride_?" Abed asks. "Not the Julia Roberts version."

Britta stares at him before nodding, "Yeah. Yeah, sure, I'll do that. I've taken riding lessons before."

"Fun fact number sixty-two," Jeff chuckles as the group excitedly begins to exit the room. "Britta's a former equestrian. Is there anything I _do_ know about you?"

"You know I'm going to freeze my ass off on this sleigh ride," She tells him as they head down the hallway behind their friends. "And so will you since your winter coat is as thin as a sheet."

"Touché," Jeff agrees and then smirks. "Nice necklace, by the way. Whoever picked that out has impeccable taste."

"Eh, his taste is alright," Britta says. "I just wish he knew how to pick out nice things for himself. Today, he looks like a toddler who got dressed in the dark."

Jeff stops walking and gapes at her. "This sweater cost two hundred dollars!"

"Yeah, but your shoes don't match," She responds and when he glances down in panic and glares when he realizes he's been duped, she chuckles. "Just kidding."

When they arrive at the horse-drawn carriages, the drivers are speaking with the Dean pretty intently about the ice and it turns out, ice is kind of a big factor, here. There's ice all over the sidewalks and the quad and it's making it impossible for the sleighs to run. So, until the Dean can find a way to fix this, they refuse to run. Dean Pelton hadn't been willing to call a salt truck because of the high cost, but, of course, because it interferes with something completely non-school related, he calls them in and has them de-ice the place while the study group returns to the library to study for the Biology final.

Twenty-five minutes later, when the ice has finally been cleared, Dean Pelton returns to let them know the sleigh rides are back on… if only there wasn't so much snow clogging all the pathways. Again, because of the high cost, Dean Pelton hadn't asked for the city to plow the snow off the campus, so the students had been risking life and limb to get to classes on time, or really, just at all. So once again, as the Dean makes another frantic call to the city, the study group returns to the library, again, to look over their notes.

During lunch, Dean Pelton makes the announcement that the ice has been cleared and the snow has been plowed and that the sleigh rides are back on starting at one o'clock. With enthusiasm, Annie leads the rest of the study group outside where they wait for one very, very chilly hour before they realize that clearly, something is wrong and no horse-drawn carriages are arriving. When they arrive back in the study room, the clock strikes one. _Seriously?_ It turns out, the Dean hadn't ever changed the clocks back when Daylight Savings Time ended. Oops.

So they trudge back outside where the carriages are parked and waiting. They all clamber inside the first one they see, four members on one side, three members on the other, and wait for the carriage to take off on their sleigh ride. But they wait for a good ten minutes before the driver turns to them and says, "I'm sorry. Ol' Clementine here really isn't up for travel in this weather. It's really much too cold for her to be out here… Hey, how are you guys staying so warm?"

"We aren't," Britta tells him through gritted teeth.

"Let's try the next one?" Annie suggests, her lips blue, and they scramble out of the carriage and into the one behind it.

Fifth time's the charm, they're thinking as they all step carefully back into the next carriage. The two horses whinny in excitement because they're probably ready to move too, since they've been standing still for hours. There's only one problem; the driver is fast asleep. Shirley pokes him, Abed taps him, and Pierce boxes his ears and the guy still doesn't budge. Annie, of course, panics and listens for a heartbeat, fearing he's dead, but when she senses a pulse she sighs and states it's probably just hypothermia. Oh, cool.

With the first carriage horseless and the second one's driver being rushed to the hospital, the study group clambers into the third carriage for their sixth attempt at a sleigh ride. Pierce, Shirley, and Troy sit on one side with Abed, Annie, Britta, and Jeff on the other. They face each other and pull the snow-covered blankets over themselves, because they've been waiting forever and _it's freaking freezing_ out here. The driver turns in his seat and asks, "Merry Christmas, you lot! Ready for a good ride?"

"More than ready," Annie answers for all of them, her teeth chattering and rubbing her bare hands together to warm them. "We're _so_ cold!"

The driver nods and signals the horses, who begin to pull the sleigh. Britta asks Annie, "Where are your gloves?"

"Left them at home," Annie shivers, rubbing them together more forcefully. "I didn't think we'd be doing this today."

"Oh my god, here," Britta offers her the knit mittens she's been wearing and says, "Trust me, I've been wearing them all day. My hands are warm enough."

"Thanks," Annie smiles, slipping them on. "Ugh, I already feel a lot better."

"Still the selfless one in the group," Jeff nudges Britta, but it's only half-hearted because, like she'd assumed, he was _freezing_.

"Yeah well, I'm the mom, right?" Britta questions. "Moms don't let their kids get hypothermia."

"Yeah," Jeff says dismissively. "I think you may have been right earlier. I may be a tad underdressed."

"A tad?" Britta chuckles. "You're wearing a fall coat and it's freaking winter outside, Jeff."

"I'll admit it," He grins mischievously and presses his frozen hands against her super warm ones. "_Much_ better."

She gasps, but doesn't say anything more after that, because then the rest of the group would know she and Jeff are pretty much holding hands under this blanket. She hisses, "Your hands are like _ice_."

Jeff chuckles. "Not so much anymore."

They're brought back to reality as the sleigh picks up speed and Shirley says, "Let's sing!"

"What?" Britta questions. "Why?"

"Come on, we are in a sleigh!" Annie agrees. "It seems right!"

"_Just hear those sleigh bells jingling, ring ting tingling, too_," Shirley begins and Annie joins in. "_Come on it's lovely weather for a sleigh ride together with you_."

Abed and Troy join in next and soon the four are singing, "_Outside the snow is falling and friends are calling yoo-hoo. Come on, it's lovely weather for a sleigh ride together with you_."

Pierce then adds in, and Jeff and Britta are slowly warming up to the idea. "_Giddy yap, giddy yap, giddy yap, let's go! Let's look at the show. We're riding in a wonderland of snow_."

"_Giddy yap, giddy yap, giddy yap, it's grand. Just holding your hand_," Jeff joins and nudges Britta meaningfully, who rolls her eyes and joins in, too. "_We're gliding along with a song of a wintry fairy land._"

"_Our cheeks are nice and rosy and comfy cozy are we. We're snuggled up together like two birds of a feather would be_," The study group sings as they glide along. "_Let's take the road before us and sing a chorus or two. Come on, it's lovely weather for a sleigh ride together with-_AH!"

The horses stumble and slide, the driver loses control, and the carriage hits a boulder in the middle of the quad. Whoever made this shoddy carriage must not have been an engineer, because it only takes one moderate blow-by-boulder for the entire carriage to split open and the study group members to fall out in a clumped heap in the snow. Annie lands flat on Abed, neither of whom seem to mind and Britta promises to investigate this much further later. Shirley and Troy bang heads upon landing and Pierce somehow manages to land on his feet.

Britta's landing is kind of a blur. But she knows one thing for sure- through this entire thing, crash and all, she and Jeff are still holding hands.


	8. 5 Epic Snowball Fights

Music Theory and Yuletide Traditions

"_On the fifth day 'til Christmas, Greendale gave to me: twelve useless credits, eleven POP-POP!s, ten blinking lights, nine costume changes, eight cups of cocoa, seven Secret Santas, six failed sleigh rides, __**five epic snowball fights**__…_"

5 Epic Snowball Fights

"We're running really low on supplies, bros!"

Troy glances over in Pavel's direction, momentarily blinded by the falling snow, and shouts, "Annie! Low on supplies!"

"Got it!" She calls back, ducking beneath their self-made snow fort and crawling through a tiny, devised tunnel. She meets up with Magnitude and Quendra, who are shivering but making snowball after snowball and says, "Guys, we're low! Speed up production!"

"My fingers are cold," Quendra whines and Annie rolls her eyes.

"Amateur," The brunette murmurs, pushing her aside and beginning to make snowballs herself. "Get up there and keep lookout, then."

"But what if I get hit?" Quendra wonders fearfully.

"Then you get hit," Annie says distractedly, adding her ammunition to the pile

Quendra looks, wide-eyed, at Magnitude, who shrugs. "Love of the game. Pop-POP!"

Greendale Community College had launched itself into yet another epic snowball fight that brisk Tuesday morning, December 20th. The Biology final had been that morning and after the exam, which had been undoubtedly difficult, everyone needed to blow off some steam. It was kind of like the start of the American Revolution at Lexington and Concord; no one knew who fired the first shot, no one knew who threw the first snowball, but either way, the war had been started and somehow, it was just as epic and as intense as paintball had been.

The study group had been divided up in the race and struggle to find an empty snow patch to build a fort in. Troy and Annie had, somehow, stuck together and they are running a pretty large snow fort with Pavel, Quendra, and Magnitude, creating snowballs and launching them at anyone who comes near. Neither one of them, Troy and Annie that is, know where the other members of the study group are, but they aren't too concerned, because their fort is at the foot of the cafeteria with a small tunnel built into the side to allow them to crawl through for periods of warmth. It had been Annie's idea; she's always prepared.

"Troy," Annie yells, popping back up over the side of north side of the wall. "I left Pavel making snowballs with Magnitude. Quendra went inside for a few moments to get warm. Anything else?"

"We have enemies coming up the western side," Troy tells her. "You ready to take them out?"

Annie nods gleefully. "Bring it on!"

They crawl on all fours to the left side of the fort, snowballs in hand and provided by Pavel, whose nose, uncovered, is turning red from exposure to the cold. In only a few moments, Leonard approaches the fort, arm raised and ready to throw, but Troy and Annie beat him to it, shouting insults and launching their snowballs at every exposed part of him. They doff him in the face, the chest, the arms, and the hands, knocking his own snowball clear out of his hands. He looks something like the abominable snowman when they're finished and runs in the opposite direction, Troy and Annie sharing a high-five once he's gone.

"Annie- nice!" Troy grins proudly. "That one that knocked his own snowball out of his hand was _sweet_!"

"Thanks," Annie laughs. "But how about that one you threw that hit him in the mouth? He'll be swallowing snow for days."

"Yeah," Troy chuckles. "We make a pretty good team."

She nods, smiling. "Yeah, we do."

"Much better than last time, anyway," Troy shakes his head, beginning to create more snowballs.

Annie frowns. "You're the one who cried."

"Hey!" Troy barks. "Chang fights _dirty_, okay?"

Shaking her head, Annie fights a smile. "Whatever you say, Troy."

* * *

><p><em>The first snowball fight had not been quite as intense as the one they're currently engaged in, but it was still one of Greendale proportion, so everyone was giving it their all. Shirley and Britta were making snowballs in the corner of the very tiny fort they'd created, Pierce was keeping watch over the south wall, Jeff over the west wall and Annie over the east. Troy and Abed were launching snowballs over the north wall at the oncoming "enemies," but they were all advancing pretty fast. It was all of Greendale versus the study group- completely unfair, but that's the way it was.<em>

"_Why does everyone hate us?" Annie asked, packing the snow between her hands tighter and tighter. "We're not that hard to get along with, are we?"_

"_It's like Todd said," Shirley said. "We're the mean group."_

"_We're not the mean group," Britta rolled her eyes. "This isn't high school; there aren't cliques in college."_

"_Of course there are," Pierce disagreed. "You think we'd let just anyone into this family? We're highly selective."_

"_Yeah, it's like _Survivor_," Jeff chuckled. "But instead of voting people out, we vote people in."_

"_Incoming!" Abed suddenly shouted and each one of the group members hit the snow floor. Snowballs are flying through the air as Troy and Abed attempt to control the situation. Jeff and Annie launch their own snowballs from their sides, but are easily taken down within seconds. Shirley and Britta try to take over, but they're no match for Vicki and (Fat) Neil, whose own snowballs have rapid fire. Pierce is whimpering in the corner, covering his head and body with his arms. Finally Abed ducks back into the fort, Troy shrieks in pain, and the snowballs stop._

"_Abort!" Abed shouted. "We've been compromised!"_

"_What the hell?" Troy cried. "There were _rocks_ in that one!"_

"_More where that came from, amigo!" Chang yelled off in the distance, running off before someone else could attack him._

"_Ow, my eye!" Troy continued to scream. "What is _wrong_ with him? He's a monster!"_

"_Better question is: what _isn't_ wrong with him?" Jeff smirked as Annie assessed Troy's black eye. "The man is a mental case."_

_This, of course, caused Britta to engage in one of her rants. Jeff frowned. "Damn it. Word number three."_

* * *

><p>Abed at first had been concerned that he lost the other members of the study group, but once he realized that he could totally handle this game on his own, he came to understand that the other members would be more of a hindrance than a help. He's currently seated on a couch cushion stolen from the library, drinking his infamous Special Drink and waiting for direction from his ammunition team. He's basically orchestrating this entire game from beneath an igloo, but that's the way Abed prefers to play. He's the puppet master; everyone involved in this game is at Abed's beck and call. The ammo team consists of a bunch of people he doesn't know, but he doesn't need to know them to win this snowball fight. He learned that in the <em>second<em> game.

* * *

><p>"<em>Abed," Troy questioned, crawling into their fort. "Who are all of these people?"<em>

_Abed looked over the room of snow and waved at the group of nobodies that attended Greendale, but didn't exactly fit into the dynamic of "regulars." "I don't know. I've never seen them before in my life."_

"_Then why are they in Fort Trobed?" Troy asked, waving at an overeager skinny brunette. "We're not going to win this fight with strangers."_

"_Why not? We didn't win the last fight with our friends," Abed stated and Troy nodded because, after all, that _was_ true. "This is the second snowball fight in two days, Troy, and I intend to win this one."_

"_And how do you plan on doing that?" Troy probed and then his eyes lit up. "Ooh! Can we get rocks and ice for our snowballs too?"_

"_No," Abed shook his head. "We simply set out these people on the nobodies of the other group so they cancel each other out. Then when the other group pulls out the big guns, like Starburns and Chang, you and I will take them out, one by one, because we will have saved our energy by using these people."_

_Troy grinned. "I like the way that sounds."_

_Abed nodded. "If all goes according to plan, we should be able to defeat Starburns' crew and we should win this fight."_

_And because the plan was impeccably thought out, it worked._

* * *

><p>Jeff had unfortunately gotten stuck with Pierce, who is seriously slowing him down to the point of near stopping. In all honesty, this is Pierce's fifth snowball fight and his body really isn't meant for this kind of endurance. He and Jeff crouch behind a bench in the quad and attempt to hit a few passersby with snowballs, but they retaliate quickly. Jeff frowns. "I think we're losing."<p>

"I'm sorry, Jeff," Pierce shrugs. "I never really got into this sort of thing. You know, physical activity, playing in the snow, what have you. I used to just stay inside."

"Well, I'm not the best at this, either," Jeff admits. "I didn't have brothers or sisters to play with, so I'm not very good at the whole snowball fight thing."

Pierce smiles and claps Jeff on the back. "We have more in common than you might think, Jeffrey."

"Yeah… I'd rather not," Jeff shoves his hand off. "Let's win this."

"Wait, I can't breathe," Pierce halts and Jeff rolls his eyes. "I need a minute!"

"I just gave you five," Jeff frowns. "Pierce, do you think faking a heart attack can get you out of everything?"

"I'm not faking, Jeffrey, I really need a minute to breathe!"

Jeff scowls. "Damn it."

Just then, Shirley and Britta come running through the quad and, like lightning, Jeff acts on his impulses before he can think about consequences. In the crossfire of snowballs, Jeff grabs Britta's arm and sprints in the other direction, ignoring her protests of how he was yanking her arm out of her socket, and slides beneath an overhang of snow. He can hear Shirley's shouting in the distance and knows he's in for it later, but ridding himself of Pierce just _needed_ to happen.

* * *

><p><em>In the third snowball fight, Jeff had been with Pierce and Shirley and although the latter was a badass and could certainly hold her own, Pierce had been somewhat of a dead weight. The study group had increased their winning record over time and more and more Greendale students were joining their side. Soon, it was split about half and half, directly down the middle. Pierce had reconstructed Fort Hawthorne outdoors and that was how he, Shirley and Jeff were surviving out there on the quad.<em>

"_You know," Jeff said to Shirley as they're rounding up more snowballs. "We could do _so_ much better if we didn't have Pierce to deal with."_

_Shirley nodded and looked around at the fort's walls. "You thinking what I'm thinking?"_

"_Total destruction?" Jeff asked and they both nodded. "Let's do it."_

_With Pierce distracted, they rammed their bodies into the two side walls of the fort so they came tumbling down around them. Then, standing, they ran straight forward so the front wall also fell to oblivion and began to chuck snowballs at everyone they met. When they looked back, Pierce was still completely oblivious. Shirley laughed. "I almost feel bad… But it's hard to give sympathy to someone so ridiculous."_

"_Shirley," Jeff chuckled. "Desperate times call for desperate measures."_

* * *

><p>He's sticking by those words as he continues to drag Britta through the campus, finding an abandoned fort wall and diving behind it. He finally lets go of Britta's wrist and she smirks, saying, "Shirley's going to murder you for that."<p>

"I don't care," Jeff shoots back. "I couldn't deal with Pierce. He's dragging me down."

"So you picked me instead? The buzz kill?" She teases. "Smooth, Winger."

"Well I was thinking about choosing Shirley, because we did so well last time," Jeff says and Britta glares at him. "But I figured if I left you with Pierce, you actually _would_ kill me."

"You made the right choice. I definitely would have."

Jeff smiles and begins making a few snowballs. "Ready to win this thing?"

"Born ready," Britta tells him and they're off.

* * *

><p><em>The fourth snowball fight happened yesterday after all the sleigh rides had failed them and everyone had been pretty annoyed. They retaliated by chucking snowballs maliciously at each other. Typical Greendale maturity. Anyway, Britta had been with Jeff and Annie this time, but when Annie left to see how Shirley and Abed were doing on supplies, she hadn't returned. This left the two of them alone, which they both wanted and dreaded. Britta glanced down at her bare hands and sighed.<em>

"_Damn it, Annie," Britta cursed and Jeff smirked._

"_Regretting giving her your gloves now, aren't you?"_

"_No," She shook her head. "She needed them more than me. But… my hands are freaking freezing, now."_

"_Well obviously," Jeff chuckled. "You're making snowballs with your bare hands."_

"_So are you," Britta motioned towards his own hands, which were red beyond belief. "Lose the feeling yet?"_

"_A long time ago," He smirked and she rolled her eyes. "So that sleigh ride didn't turn out to be so bad after all, right?"_

"_Until we crashed and fell on top of each other," Britta said._

"_You fell on top of me," Jeff stated, eyebrows wiggling. "And didn't seem to mind."_

"_Completely contrived," She retorted but he shook his head._

"_Britta, that is complete bullshit and you know it."_

"_Oh really?" She leaned in closer and he followed her action._

"_Yeah," He responded, the air between them growing thick. But just as they were about to meet, a huge ball of snow smacked Jeff in the side of the face and when Britta peered over their wall, she noticed Starburns and Leonard with a giant supply of snowballs._

"_Saved by the bell," Britta smirked and reached over to fight back._

"_Yeah," Jeff said half-heartedly. "Saved."_

* * *

><p>The study group wins the fifth snowball fight.<p>

"One word to describe this," Troy states later on, after they're all dried off and warming up under blankets with hot cocoa. "Epic."

They all agree.


	9. 4 Christmas Specials

Music Theory and Yuletide Traditions

"_On the fourth day 'til Christmas, Greendale gave to me: twelve useless credits, eleven POP-POP!s, ten blinking lights, nine costume changes, eight cups of cocoa, seven Secret Santas, six failed sleigh rides, five epic snowball fights, __**four Christmas specials**__…_"

4 Christmas Specials

Following classes on Wednesday December 21st, Shirley had invited the entire study group over to her house that evening for a Christmas special marathon and everyone had eagerly agreed. So here she is now, zipping Jordan and Elijah's coats and kissing Ben's cherubic cheek as she pushes her three boys out the front door with their father for some male bonding time. She's searching through the endless DVD collection they have going when she finally finds the four specials they decided on earlier that day and stacks them atop the television.

Shirley loves her real family to death, there's no mistaking that. There is nothing in the world that Shirley is more grateful for than the fact that her family is back together, intact, and with a new little addition. But her Greendale family, the group of six crazy misfits, holds a special place in her heart that will never be replaced. She knows that, as weird as they are, they're a family and families need to stick together through thick and through thin. She needs the family time together with the study group just as much as she needs to spend time with her husband and three little boys.

At seven o'clock, her doorbell rings- fun fact: she's the only study group member who _doesn't_ live in an apartment- and with a squeal of excitement, she goes to answer the door. The entire group is there; Annie, Troy, and Abed on the porch, Jeff and Britta coming up her front walkway, and Pierce getting out of his car in the driveway. She ushers them all in and motions toward the living room, where's she's set up seating arrangements around their television system and cheese, crackers, and cookies on the coffee table. When everyone is settled in and ready, Shirley puts in the first DVD.

First up is _Frosty the Snowman_, one of the more classic Christmas cartoons. They're all fairly quiet at the beginning as they watch the ridiculous magician lose both his rabbit and his hat to the playing children in the school yard, who then place it on Frosty's head so he'll come to life. Pierce is eating crackers obnoxiously, which doesn't go unnoticed or uncommented by Jeff, but he doesn't cease and only proceeds to chew even louder. Annie is watching the screen, wide-eyed, because she claims _Frosty_ has always been her favorite special.

"Your favorite?" Troy pulls a face. "Why? It's so boring."

"Boring?" Annie questions, incredulous. "It's so happy! I mean, yeah, it gets sad when Frosty melts, but then Santa comes and makes him whole again and everyone's happy!"

"Oh don't get me started on Santa Claus," Troy huffs and Annie's eyes widen.

"When you were a kid, you didn't believe in Santa Claus?" She asks as if there's no _possible_ way anyone couldn't believe. "I'm Jewish, but even _I_ believed in Santa!"

"Like I'm really going to believe one man can fly _all over the world_ in one night in a sleigh pulled by reindeer," Troy rolls his eyes.

"You believed you were ten for two years," Abed not-so-helpfully points out and the rest of the group laughs.

"Okay, okay fine! I did! But that's because my mom told me everyone was ten for two years!" Troy defends. "She also told me reindeer can't fly, sleighs aren't aerodynamic, and Santa is only a devise created by parents to distract their kids from the fact that their own parents spoil them with gifts!"

"Aw, Troy!" Annie places a comforting hand on his shoulder. "I feel bad for you. You had such a _terrible_ childhood."

"No, I didn't. I never had that moment where everyone finds out he's a fake," Troy retorts. "I knew all along."

"But the meaning of Christmas, as a child, is supposed to be magical and mysterious," Abed tells him. "As referenced in the 2009 TV movie, _Yes, Virginia_."

"Ooh, I love that movie!" Shirley claps excitedly. "The children are so adorable! I watched it with the boys a few years ago! 'Yes, Virginia, there _is_ a Santa Claus!'"

"All I'm saying is," Troy holds his hands up. "Santa Claus is a useless figment of everyone's imagination and telling kids otherwise is _lying_."

"Much like telling them they haven't turned eleven, they've just turned ten a second time," Annie teases. "Troy, you're such a non-believer."

"Anti-Claus," Pierce laughs. "He's an Anti-Santa-ite!"

They all stare at him and he explains. "You know, like an Anti-Semite. People who hate Jews. But Troy hates Santa, so he's-"

"Not laughing doesn't mean we don't get it," Shirley tells him and everyone nods in agreement.

As Frosty melts into a puddle on the greenhouse floor and Santa comes in to appease a crying Karen, Annie and Troy's Santa argument continues. Jeff turns to Britta and says, "Damn. They're turning into us."

She nods. "They're giving us a run for our money."

This gets their attention and both Troy and Annie look at the two with horror. "Take that back!"

With _Frosty_ over, Shirley changes the discs so _Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer_ is playing next (Troy immediately turns to Annie and says, "You can't deny that Santa is a dick in this one!" She doesn't.). The beginning chords start and Abed, of course, is watching intently, most likely thinking of how last Christmas, they had all been stop-motion animated just like this very cartoon- whether or not this was part of his imagination still remains to be seen. Anyway, _Rudolph_ begins and Troy is prepared to prove to Annie that not only is Santa fake, but he can also be a huge asshole.

"_You know Dasher and Dancer and Prancer and Vixen. Comet and Cupid and Donner and Blitzen. But do you recall the most famous reindeer of all?_"

"So what does this teach kids?" Jeff questions. "That it's okay to be an asshole to other people? That making fun of people is okay if you can use them in the end?"

"Pretty much," Britta smirks. "My mother wouldn't ever let us watch this one. She said it sent the wrong message."

"It does." Abed nods curtly. "But there's still something magical about the intricate claymation work and bittersweet storyline. Plus, the island of misfit toys really represents something in all of us. They really get to the heart and soul of Christmas."

"I like the cute little boy who wants to be a dentist," Shirley giggles. "It always cracks me up!"

They watch as the other reindeer quite literally laugh and make fun of Rudolph to his face and even Santa gets some jokes in. Jeff cringes. "Like this… This is just ridiculous."

"Aw, do you feel bad for the little silicone doll?" Britta teases and Jeff frowns.

"Yeah, I do," He responds. "Why should he be made fun of because he's different?"

"Because that's how the world works," Britta tells him. "You should know. You make fun of me all the time."

"Only when you deserve it." He shoots back and she snorts.

"Okay. At least I never cried at a puppet show."

"We agreed _never_ to talk about that!" He hisses and she chuckles just as Shirley gathers empty cups and platters from the coffee table.

"I'm going to get more snacks!" She announces. "Jeffrey, would you mind helping me in the kitchen please?"

"Sure," He tells her, sending one more glare in Britta's direction and following Shirley to the kitchen.

Shirley instructs Jeff to fill the group's cups with more hot chocolate as she slices more cheese and shakes crackers out of the box. "What's going on, Jeffrey?"

Jeff sighs. "_Rudolph_ always reminds me of how much I was made fun of as a kid-"

"No, no, not _Rudolph_," Shirley shakes her head. "I meant between you and Britta."

He smirks. "Me and Britta? Nothing, believe me."

"I don't think that I can," Shirley tells him. "The two of you have always been close and nowadays there's a certain air about you. I think things have definitely changed."

"How so?"

Shirley smiles. "You like her."

"As a friend? Sure. As anything more than that? Yeah _right_," Jeff waves this off, almost spilling the hot chocolate as he attempts to pour it into the seven cups. "I mean, seriously. She's so obnoxiously irritating, don't you think?"

"She has her moments," Shirley agrees, slicing cheese with precision Jeff's only ever seen on televised cooking shows. "But I don't think there's anything you couldn't get over."

"Please," Jeff disagrees. "She's passionate about the _dumbest_ things-"

"It's good to have a cause or two to fight for," Shirley counters.

"- She has this overbearing need to take care of people, even when they don't need it-"

"Everyone needs to be taken care of now and then."

"- She prods me about my issues with my father, even when I really don't want to talk about it-"

"It's good to have someone to talk to about these things."

"- She's insecure-"

"As are you, Jeffrey," Shirley tells him and he stops listing reasons not to be with Britta. "You two are much more alike than you want to admit."

"I guess so."

"Plus, you spent a year together already," Shirley frowns. "Even if it was having premarital sex."

"We were friends with benefits," Jeff smirks. "I would hardly call that a relationship."

"Oh, you wouldn't?" She turns to look at him. "Did you two ever go out to dinner?"

"A few times."

"Did you ever spend the night at each other's apartments and have breakfast the next day?"

"… Maybe."

"Ever catch a movie?"

"Once or twice."

"Right," Shirley nods, making her point. "And who did you spend most of Halloween with?"

"… Britta."

"And Christmas?"

"Britta," Jeff sighs.

"And St. Patrick's Day?"

"Okay, I get it," Jeff groans. "But that's in the past, okay? We've moved on."

He gathers the tray of drinks and retreats to the living room as Shirley follows with snacks, sighing. "I really do not think that you have."

_Santa Claus is Coming to Town_ is on the roster next as Shirley changes DVDs and everyone, once again, gets settled. Britta pokes Jeff to ask what he and Shirley could have possibly talked about for that long, but he shrugs it off and makes some offhanded comment about the shoddy camera angling and she lets it go. It's nearing nine-thirty as the special begins and Pierce yawns over-exaggeratedly and stands to go. Shirley looks questioningly at him.

"What are you doing?"

"Yeah," Abed agrees. "They're just learning that if you put one foot in front of the other, soon you'll be walking out the door."

"Well it's getting late and tonight is Electric Extravaganza," Pierce informs them. "It's gonna be big!"

"You're still having that even after what happened last year?" Troy asks. "With the high electric bill and that one dude going into epileptic shock?"

Pierce shrugs. "He knew what he was getting into, Troy. It's not our fault."

"What the hell goes on at this party?" Annie wonders, intrigued and also a bit frightened.

"All kinds of secretive things only hive members are allowed to know," Pierce grins. "But we're allowed to bring guests, so you can definitely come along, if you want! You're all invited!"

"I would love to learn more about the Buddhist religion," Abed says. "But if I'm going to learn about it, I'd rather it be real."

"Yeah, we're a little too nervous about assimilating into a cult," Britta states gently, trying to let him off easy. "But maybe next time?"

Pierce frowns. "It is _not_ a cult!"

With that, he stomps out of the house and through the snow, down toward where he parked his car at the foot of the driveway. There's silence in the room for only a moment before Troy says, "You guys made the right decision. Electric Extravaganza is _frightening_."

When _Santa Claus is Coming to Town_ ends, Shirley steps over Troy, who is seated on the floor, and puts in _How the Grinch Stole Christmas!_ It isn't long before the story begins, the glowing television screen the only light in Shirley's dark environs. "_Every Who down in Who-ville like Christmas a lot… But the Grinch, who lived just north of Who-ville, did NOT!_"

Annie, whose head was resting upon Abed's shoulder upon the couch, says, "My dad used to read me this book every year on the night before Christmas. It was my favorite."

"Mine too," Britta agrees from across the room, snuggling beneath the blanket she and Jeff were currently sharing. "There's something about Dr. Seuss and Christmas that just… made the holiday for me."

"So you weren't always a bleeding-heart atheist?" Jeff jokes.

Britta shakes her head. "Not always."

"_You're a mean one, Mr. Grinch. You really are a heel. You're as cuddly as a cactus, you're as charming as an eel, Mr. Grinch! You're a bad banana with a greasy black peel!_"

"The song's the best part," Annie yawns, with Britta nodding sleepily.

"So great, you're falling asleep?" Jeff nudges her and she swats at him half-heartedly, closing her eyes.

"I've had a long day," Britta defends. "And I've seen this a million times before."

It's a few minutes past eleven as the movie comes to a close; "_And what happened then…? Well… in Who-ville they say that the Grinch's small heart grew three sizes that day! And the minute his heart didn't feel quite so tight, he whizzed with his load through the bright morning light. And he brought back the toys! And the food for the feast! And he- HE HIMSELF! The Grinch carved the roast beast!_"

Shirley claps as the credits roll but is immediately hushed by Abed, who points to the sleeping Annie on his shoulder. "Aw, Annie!" She coos as Abed smiles.

Troy is also asleep, curled up on the floor and using his jacket as a pillow. His eyes flutter, meaning he is currently in the state of dreamland, and Shirley chuckles, throwing a spare blanket over his body. It's in that moment that Andre walks through the front door, a sleeping infant in his arms and drowsy children at his side, explaining they'd gone to the Christmas light show in the park. Shirley kisses them all goodnight as Andre prepares to bring them up to bed.

When she returns to the living room, Abed is still studying the credits intently, Annie is still passed out cold beside him, and Troy is now lightly snoring. She turns to the armchair Jeff and Britta are seated upon and melts on the spot. Britta's sleeping against Jeff's shoulder, gently snuggled up against him in a way she would absolutely hate if she consciously knew she was doing this. Jeff just as badly would deny his position; his arm is wrapped around her, almost protectively, for support, his head against the back of chair, eyes closed. Shirley grins and adjusts their blanket.

Just as she steps away, Jeff, without opening his eyes, says, "Not a word, Shirley."

Shirley grins. "My lips are sealed, Jeffrey."

* * *

><p><strong>My fault this wasn't posted yesterday. I got caught up in Christmas cookie baking haha. So expect two chapters today! Just gotta finish the next one...<strong>


	10. 3 Crazy Dances

Music Theory and Yuletide Traditions

"_On the third day 'til Christmas, Greendale gave to me: twelve useless credits, eleven POP-POP!s, ten blinking lights, nine costume changes, eight cups of cocoa, seven Secret Santas, six failed sleigh rides, five epic snowball fights, four Christmas specials, __**three crazy dances**__…_"

3 Crazy Dances

It's Thursday December 22nd and Greendale is in turmoil.

Annie's pretty used to the Greendale chaos by now; after all, there isn't a day that goes by without some kind of study group drama or meltdown from the Dean. There is no such thing as a normal school day, because nearly all of their professors are nonsensical and have no real clue what they're doing. Once, Annie had to explain to her entire math class the idea behind the Pythagorean Theorem, because her professor was explaining it all wrong. It's those kinds of things that really do frighten her about this place.

Anyway, this particular Thursday was the day of the three holiday dances the Dean had organized to branch out from being secular. As Annie and the group walk through the halls of the school, Dean Pelton and his gaggle of attendants race about the school, carrying dreidels and menorahs to the library and trees and angels to the cafeteria. There was to be a Kwanzaa-themed dance in the abandoned Spanish classroom, a Hanukkah-themed dance in the library study room, and a Christmas-themed dance in the cafeteria that same evening. Jeff wryly asks the Dean where the agnostics, atheists, and Muslims should go. The Dean nearly has a heart attack.

So that evening, Annie showers and slides shimmery stockings over her legs. She's dressing that evening in a sapphire blue halter dress cut above the knees with bedazzling gemstones on the bodice and the hemline. Blue symbolizes both winter and Hanukkah, so she's quite proud of the double entendre she's created with her outfit and finishes off the look with strappy black heels instead of flats. Hey, it's the holidays. Annie's allowed to get a little crazy, right?

She then blow dries her hair and combs it out so it's full and bouncing on her shoulders, only partly pulled back by a few bobby pins at the top of her head. Annie adds the necklace her mother sent her for Hanukkah and then mentally notes to light the third candle on her menorah before she leaves that evening. Her makeup is delicate and simple; just a brushing of blue eye shadow over her eyelids and a touch of blush, finishing off her look with her signature bubblegum lip gloss.

"Okay, I'm ready!" Annie announces, yanking the door open to her bedroom and finding Troy and Abed in the exact same positions they were in just an hour ago, when she'd announced she was leaving to get ready. She frowns. "You guys! We have to leave in fifteen minutes! You're not even dressed!"

"Relax, Annie," Troy tells her. "It does not take more than fifteen minutes to make me look good."

Abed nods in agreement and turns to look at her. "You look really nice tonight."

She grins. "Thanks. Where did you two leave the matches? I need to light the menorah."

They both motion nonchalantly towards the sink and, as Annie approaches it apprehensively, she sighs. "Guys, there are only like two left. This was a full package yesterday!"

"We used most of them playing Fireball," Troy chuckles and again Abed nods.

"Yeah. And I wouldn't advise going into the Dreamatorium," Abed tells her. "It's not pretty in there."

She rolls her eyes and proceeds to use the final two matches to light the menorah. "Sometimes living with you is like having _children_!"

"Sorry Annie."

"Yeah, we're sorry."

"You're lucky no one got hurt," Annie scolds. "Now go get dressed, both of you."

They both nod, turn off the television, and scurry off to their bedroom as Annie gives a satisfied nod and then laughs at herself for literally acting just like a mother would. True to his word, five minutes later Troy exits the bedroom in dark dress pants and a fancy button down, fumbling with a tie and Abed follows behind him, wearing a suit with a sapphire blue bowtie, making Annie smile. They slip into their dress shoes and Troy grins, "Ready?"

"Cool," Abed grins, reaching for Annie's hand as Troy's expression changes. He doesn't say anything. "Cool, cool, cool."

They pile into the car and drive off toward Greendale, talking animatedly about the three dances that were sure to be a uniquely Greendale experience. The weather isn't all that frightful tonight; the ice has been defrosted, the snow has been cleared, and the temperature was in the low forties, making the evening less north pole-like and more like a typical Colorado winter. When they exit the car, they meet up with Pierce in the parking lot and together they greet Dean Pelton, who is dressed ridiculously, as per the usual.

The moment they enter the school, they're greeted by Jeff, Britta, and Shirley, all of whom are less than pleased with the current setup of the school. There are three lines to get into the three different dances with faculty members letting people in and out as if these three dances were the craziest clubs or bars Colorado's ever seen. The shortest line has the weirdest faculty member and the Hanukkah dance has Chang- of _all_ people, seriously? - guarding the door. This intimidates Annie but they join their friends anyway.

Jeff is uninterestedly checking his phone as to be expected, but he's dressed nicely in a dress suit and tie- a black tie, which he claims is just because the _affair_ is black-tie and not because Britta is wearing a black dress. Annie shrugs this off because she knows how much Jeff is afraid of commitment and tries not to comment on how closely they're standing or how in tune they seem to be with each other. Before all of this change, if Annie had witnessed this, she would erupt with jealousy and anger. But now? Now that the tension between them had diminished? She saw Jeff and Britta for who they really were- two people with feelings for the other, two people who wanted to be in a relationship but were too afraid to put themselves out there, too afraid of being hurt.

"Okay, so, what are we going to do first?" Annie asks. "Which dance can we go to?"

"Good luck getting into any of them," Jeff tells her. "We've been standing out here waiting for you and no one's getting in or coming back out."

"Well what about the Kwanzaa dance?" Shirley asks.

"Yeah, how many people actually celebrate Kwanzaa?" Pierce states. "Let's give that one a whirl."

They walk fairly quickly towards the abandoned Spanish classroom- no professor has had the courage to teach in here since Chang lost his teaching status. The line is pretty short and they wait for just a moment before being let in. It is, as expected, pretty stereotypical. Everything is decked out in red, black, and green and a giant Kwanzaa candelabra is set up in the far corner of the room, lighting the dark room. Anyone who wants to dance has to wear dashiki and Shirley immediately goes off on a tangent about how racist this is.

"Oh come on, Shirley," Pierce says. "Embrace your heritage!"

He slips into a dashiki and motions for her to do the same. She doesn't. "I am not buying into Dean Pelton's delusions!"

"Why not? It looks like fun," Troy tells her and puts on his own dashiki to join Pierce in popping and locking on the dance floor. "Nice moves, Pierce!"

"Oh, you think that was good?" He chuckles. "Wait until you see what we liked to call The Tootsie Roll!"

"Might be a little racist in this setting," Jeff snickers and though Britta and Annie laugh, Shirley glares at him.

"May we please try and get into the Christmas dance now? I refuse to be here to support a holiday I'm not even sure is real."

"Wait, you think Kwanzaa isn't real?" Britta asks. "What would make you think that?"

"Well, how many people do you know that celebrate it?" Shirley questions right back and Britta has to give her that argument. "Besides, it just _sounds_ made up."

"Okay, we should probably go before Shirley has a coronary," Annie says. "Let's see if Chang will let us get to the front of the line at the Hanukkah dance!"

They leave Pierce and Troy, who look like they're having the time of their lives, and cross the school towards the study room. The line has shortened immensely in the time they were gone and by the time they get to the front, they reach their mortal enemy- Ben Chang. He's guarding the door like a warden watching over a prisoner, his face set, his palms enclosed together. Annie flashes him a bright smile and asks, "Hi! Can we go in, please?"

Chang pretends to consider this and then says, "No."

"What? Why not?" Annie's actually put off by this and Jeff goes back to checking his phone.

"Because I remember wanting a certain something from this study group," Chang answers. "And every time I asked, it was always a no. So you aren't getting into my dance if I can't be in your study group!"

"Fine," Jeff decides and turns to go.

"Jeff!" Annie shrieks. "Ben, this is not about the study group! You are tarnishing a dance celebrating my holiday! This isn't your dance; you're not even Jewish!"

"Neither are they!" Chang shouts back, pointing to Abed, Shirley, Jeff, and Britta.

"Listen!" Annie grabs his shirt and pulls him closer so their foreheads are touching. "You'll let us into this dance. You'll let us in _right now_."

Chang's eyes grow fearful and he nods quickly. "G-Go ahead in."

She grins, letting go of him. "Thank you. Come on guys!"

Annie grabs Abed's arm and pulls him in behind her as the other three stare at her retreating back. Jeff asks, "Who the hell was that?"

"That was the side of Annie you _don't_ want to mess with," Britta answers and they follow her into the study room.

It's much brighter in the Hanukkah party than it was in the Spanish classroom, but maybe that's because not only is every single light on, but there are electric menorahs lit _everywhere_. There's a station where a small, bearded guy is frying up latkes and carding people before serving manischewitz. The Dean is over in the corner running a dreidel competition, even though they're all sure he doesn't know how to play. There's music playing and in twenty minutes, there will be a dramatic reading of the Torah. Annie pulls a face.

"This is… different," She tries to put it nicely. "Anyone want to enter the dreidel competition with me?"

"Sure!" Shirley says excitedly. "How do you play?"

"Um, it's kind of hard to explain," Annie tells her. "Just follow my lead."

They disappear in the crowd and Abed turns to Jeff and Britta. "The last dance was too dark and this one's too light. Does that mean the next one will turn out just right?"

"Who knows," Jeff shrugs. "And when did you become such a poet?"

Britta smirks and heads over to the latke table. Jeff asks, "Where are you going?"

"To get us a drink," She calls back haphazardly. When she returns with three glasses of manischewitz, she says, "I dated a Jewish guy once. It takes half as long to get twice as drunk on this."

It's Jeff turn to smirk as he sips the kosher wine. "Nice math."

She's not kidding, though, and after only a glass they're both feeling pretty tipsy. Abed sips at his glass slowly, the alcohol barely having any effect, this way. About an hour later, when Shirley and Annie return, Jeff and Britta are arguing, of course. Annie motions towards them and asks, "Who gave them beer?"

"Not beer. Whatever this is," Abed tells her, holding his half-full glass up. "It isn't very good, but that didn't stop them from chugging it."

"Manischewitz?" Annie shrieks. "You drank that?"

"They only had one glass, each," Abed calms her. "Everyone's only allowed one. Dean's orders."

"Okay, then," Shirley says, smoothing things over. "To the Christmas dance?"

The school is emptying out as people realize these crazy dances really aren't as entertaining as they would have expected. Dean Pelton himself is now acting as the bouncer to the Christmas dance and greets them with a cordial hello. They enter the cafeteria and are immediately near-blinded by green and red lights blinking, flashing, and shining everywhere. There are trees and snowflakes, presents and reindeer, Santas and snowmen all over the room. Troy and Pierce have clearly left their dashikis behind, because they are now busting a move in the middle of the dance floor.

Shirley squeals and claps excitedly at the live nativity scene in the corner. "Oh, that's nice!"

She hurries over to the manger to inspect this further as Abed grabs Annie's hand and drags her towards the dancing crowd. "Let's dance."

"Okay!" Annie agrees without hesitation and the two do just exactly that.

This leaves Jeff and Britta, the drunken haze already wearing off. He glances over toward her. "Wanna dance?"

"I don't dance," She shakes her head, stepping over a fallen paper snowflake and sitting down on one of the chairs left out for worn-out dancers.

"You used to be a ballerina, I thought," Jeff comments, sitting beside her. "Weren't you the swan princess?"

"I was the sugarplum fairy," Britta smirks. "There's a difference."

"It's all Greek to me," Jeff chuckles. "I dated a dancer, once. But she wasn't good enough to be one of the leads. She was like, a duck or something."

"There aren't any ducks in _The Nutcracker_," Britta grins. "Mice and owls, sure, but ducks?"

"Whatever, ballet police," Jeff nudges her. "That show put me to sleep."

"I cannot imagine why," She rolls her eyes. "God forbid you enjoy the blood, sweat, and tears of about a hundred starving ballerinas and orchestra members."

Jeff turns to look at her. "How long ago was this?"

"That I danced ballet?" She asks and he nods. "God, years ago. Years and years. Way before I became a foot model, though; those pointe shoes do _nasty_ things to your feet."

"Doesn't sound pleasant," Jeff grimaces and Britta chuckles.

"It's really not," She tells him. "I don't know, though. I joined NYCB when I was… nineteen? Twenty?"

"NYCB?"

"New York City Ballet," Britta clarifies. "And you say you're cultured. Psh."

"I don't pretend I'm cultured; that's _you_," He shoots back. "Just because you spent time in New York dancing as a fairy doesn't mean you can call yourself well-rounded."

"Oh okay then, Mr. Hotshot Lawyer," Britta says. "Let's see your stellar moves. On your feet!"

She jumps up and extends a hand toward him, which he accepts with relish and twirls her onto the dance floor. He's actually not too bad of a dancer, but this doesn't stop Britta from calling out corrections that reminded her of ballet boot camp. "Shoulders down! Eyes up! Ears back! Round your arms! Point your toes!"

"Does it look like I'm trying to be you, Nina Ballerina?" Jeff comments offhandedly and she smirks.

"Just giving you a few helpful corrections," Britta shrugs and Jeff rolls his eyes.

A few feet away, Abed and Annie are swaying gently to the music and happen to take notice of the two envying Johnny and Baby's final sequence. Abed grins. "Nobody puts Britta in a corner."

Annie chuckles. "_Definitely_ not Jeff, that's for sure. Do you think they'll work it out?"

"I'll tell you the same thing Jeff said to me when I first asked if I could join the study group," Abed says definitively. "I can't think of a single, logical reason why not."

* * *

><p><strong>Ahh ballet boot camp. Those were some good times... Oh that was sarcasm, but I forgot to inflect. =P<strong>


	11. 2 One Eyed Cats

Music Theory and Yuletide Traditions

"_On the second day 'til Christmas, Greendale gave to me: twelve useless credits, eleven POP-POP!s, ten blinking lights, nine costume changes, eight cups of cocoa, seven Secret Santas, six failed sleigh rides, five epic snowball fights, four Christmas specials, three crazy dances, __**two one-eyed cats**__…_"

2 One-Eyed Cats

There are many reasons why Britta doesn't have people cat-sit.

Minnie and Marbles- not names she gave them herself, so don't make fun- were both injured in some kind of complicated accident she still doesn't fully comprehend and thus, they both only have an eye each. Despite the fact that they really can't see worth a damn, they're quite the handful and they come with their own set of issues and complications. Marbles is not coordinated in the slightest, so he's a bit of a walking disaster and Minnie? She's so confused by the deep detriment of only having the one eye that she sometimes makes herself sick. Yeah. Fun times.

Once, when Britta went away for the weekend to participate in the rebuilding of an animal shelter, she left her cats in the care of her next-door neighbor, who was in her mid-fifties with no pets of her own. She seemed excited and eager to help, so Britta felt there was no need to express just how horrific her cats were sometimes (okay, all the time). When she returned Sunday evening, Britta found that nearly everything in her neighbor's adjacent apartment had been soiled or destroyed and her sweet, fifty-something-year-old neighbor was in shambles. She shoved Britta and the cats out of her front door and the two haven't spoken since.

Then there was that one time last year when she'd been pissed off at Jeff for some reason she still doesn't remember. As her own way of getting back at him for making her angry, she asked him to cat-sit overnight when she visited her family for an evening. He had accepted only because he thought this was her way of forgiving him, but when Britta returned the next morning, she had tried (and failed) to hold in her laughter at his harrowed expression. His arms were covered in deep, red scratches and the only time she felt bad about this was later on that day, when she was pouring hydrogen peroxide over the searing, bloody cuts, as he asked, "Britta, do you really hate me that much?"

It was hard to lie to that.

So needless to say, Britta's one-eyed cats are two demons from hell and usually, she just leaves them in the kitchen when she heads out to school in the morning (the linoleum floors make cat vomit easier to clean). But last night, after Britta had come home from the three school dances with her feet aching and her body begging her to take a nice, hot shower, she had received a visit from her middle brother Tobias (oh, sorry: _Dr_. T. Perry. At least that's how he signs everything), who apparently was in town for some medical convention or what have you. He, along with the rest of Britta's immediate family, permanently lives in Boulder, but when he showed up at her door, with a bag and everything, she knew he was here for the long run.

"Brits!" Tobias had shouted and immediately tossed his bag aside to pull her into a semi-forced hug. "Long time, no see, woman! Where have you been hiding?"

"Clearly nowhere good enough if you've found me," Britta had responded and pulled away from the hug to close the door behind him. "You've brought a bag…?"

"Yeah, I was going to get a hotel and all," Tobias explained, plopping down on her couch. "But you're _family_, Brits, and I knew you wouldn't turn me away, right?"

"Sure," She yawned and took the seat opposite of him. "What's new with you?"

They had proceeded to fill each other in on their lives; Britta had informed her brother all about her life's greatest treasures ("Greendale's alright… Just got back from a holiday dance and it was cool… What about you?") and Tobias had told her the latest drama with their mother ("Her new boyfriend is _twenty-seven_, Brits! _Twenty-seven!_ That's eight years younger than me!"), their older brother, Henrik ("He's thinking of running for Congress, you know, because he's got the picture-perfect family. Patricia will never go for it, though. And the kids? Marcus and Anna? Ugh, it'll _ruin_ them!"), and his career, ("Brits, you just have _no_ idea how great it feels to be changing these kids' lives. I mean, it's just _so_ awe-inspiring!"), before Britta had told him she really needed to sleep if she had any hope of making it to school the next day.

Tobias had stared at her a while before asking, "What the hell kind of school is still open two days before Christmas?"

Oh, if looks could kill.

So this brings us to today, December 23rd, a rainy Friday morning. Britta's dressing for school only a short, seven hours after she finally got to go to sleep and throwing things carelessly into her purse and heading into the kitchen. It's a little after eight, but Tobias is already wide awake, flipping through her newspaper with Minnie on his lap and Marbles by his side. He half-salutes her and tells her he started a pot of coffee already, if she's interested. Britta thanks him, remembers this is why he's her favorite brother regardless of how annoying he may be at times, and fills her mug, twice.

"I'll be back around four, four-thirty," Britta tells him. "You can leave the door open if you have to go anywhere. There isn't anything valuable in here."

"Okay," Tobias nods, munching on a bagel. "Convention's this afternoon. Afterwards, you want to grab dinner? Or do I get to meet your boyfriend? What's his name? Jack? John?"

Britta's face changes, immediately confused. "Are you talking about Jeff? He's not my boyfriend."

"Jeff! Yeah, that's his name," Tobias nods. "Henrik says you two look lovely together. His words, not mine."

Britta frowns. She forgot about the time last year when she and Jeff ran into her brother and sister-in-law at the movie theater. Those bitches never did know how to keep their mouths shut. "Ew, Toby, we're just friends."

"Uh huh, been there," He grins knowingly. "Whatever you say. What about these beasts? What do I do with them?"

Biting her lip and deciding not to tell them about her cats' behaviors, she shakes her head. "You don't have to do anything with them. Anyway, I'm going to be late."

She turns to go but once more, Tobias calls out to her. "Hey, do you go to City College? I drove by the campus last night. It's _huge_! Not to mention pretty nice. You know I bet they have a pretty good medical program. You should look into-"

Britta slams the door behind her. Okay, her brother is still a pain in the ass.

It's two weeks past the time Greendale should have let out for winter break and Britta still has no idea why she has to trek to campus two days before Christmas. No, she doesn't celebrate Christmas, but that's beside the point. The school is obligated to follow the academic calendar, right? Ugh. Good news is, she's finally picked up her car from the impound lot. Bad news is, the rain is making the snow melt and the ice slicker, so the slick slush mess is making it very difficult for her to maneuver her car.

When she finally trudges into the study room, the group greets her excitedly. She groans her hello and plops into her chair. Jeff smirks- of course. "Whoa, where's your holiday spirit, Scrooge?"

"Back off," Britta growls and sips the coffee that's still heavenly warm.

"Oh, all of that talk about ballerinas and nutcrackers and such was just an act?" Jeff continues teasing. "Why am I not surprised?"

"Just stop talking." Britta says shortly and momentarily, Jeff lets it go.

"Guys! Look at what my mother sent me for Hanukkah!" Annie exclaims excitedly and flashes a brand new charm bracelet for everyone to see. "Isn't it gorgeous?"

"Oh Annie! That's beautiful!" Shirley claps happily.

"Thanks! It was in the mailbox this morning." Annie explains. "It's pure silver, too! My mother really splurged this year, I guess."

"You're not even going to make a comment about how if she sold that, she could feed an entire third world country?" Jeff murmurs to Britta who glares at him.

"Didn't I ask you to stop talking to me?" She asks maliciously and Jeff frowns.

Just then, Dean Pelton enters the study room, but not with any kind of exciting pun or play on words. He isn't wearing a ridiculous costume and doesn't try to touch Jeff in any way as he solemnly shuts the door behind him. He looks weathered and exhausted and instead of his facing twisting into an unimaginable grin, he's wearing a look of sadness, a frown, and puppy dog eyes. The study group shares a concerned look, but before anyone can ask, Dean Pelton inhales and sighs, beginning to speak.

"It turns out," He gulps. "City College _is_ behind this."

"And by 'this,' you mean the whole twelve fake credits thing?" Annie asks gently.

The Dean nods. "Dean Spreck had ten of his own students enroll in twelve fake credits to mess up our system. But the thing is, each one of the courses these students enrolled in was different, so… All of the classes have been deemed false."

"So what you're saying is this semester was a complete waste?" Jeff inquires. "Wow. This is so typical Greendale."

"It gets worse," Dean Pelton says sadly. "It's going to take weeks to sort through our faulty system, maybe even months before students can register for courses again."

"Wait, if we can't register for courses, how do we make schedules for the spring semester?" Annie cries.

"Oh no!" Shirley gasps. "And just when my business classes were getting interesting!"

"As of right now, Greendale isn't going to have a spring semester," Dean Pelton sighs. "The system will most likely be up and running again sometime vaguely in March or April."

"So we get until March or April off from school?" Troy asks, eyes bright. "_Sweet!_"

"Cool. Cool, cool, cool," Abed says and he and Troy share their handshake. "It's kind of like when a sitcom goes on hiatus. Ultimately, the show comes back bigger and better than ever, and hopefully with higher ratings and viewership."

"It gets worse, still," Dean Pelton sighs. "Today is the last day _you _have to be here. But I have so much paperwork to go through and records to discard. And I have no one to help me with it!"

"Oh, that's terrible."

"Yeah. That sucks man."

"It's pretty awful, sure."

Dean Pelton looks hopefully around the table. "I was hoping maybe… A little help? From you guys?"

"Tomorrow?" Shirley's eyes widen. "But it's Christmas Eve!"

"Shirley, I am begging you guys for help," Dean Pelton wails. "I promise you that you'd be done by noon, one o'clock at the latest! Please! I'm just trying to be a good dean!"

"Hey! Terrible Dean!" Jeff calls. "You can't play the 'good dean' card every time you want us to do something."

Dean Pelton frowns. "Okay. You have a point. I'll just go."

"Wait! Just…" Annie sighs. "We'll help you, Dean Pelton. What time do you want us here?"

They all scoff and turn to look at Annie who shrugs as Dean Pelton nearly squeals. "Thank you! I promise; if we have all eight of us, it won't take that long!"

He scurries out of the room and everyone turns to shout at Annie. She takes it for a moment before shouting, "Guys! Stop! We need to help him! Where's your Christmas spirit?"

"I guess you're right," Shirley sighs. "But not a _minute_ past one o'clock!"

"Well if we don't have to be here anymore, can we go?" Pierce stands. "I've got a hot tub party planned! You're all invited!"

They all vehemently disagree and begin to filter out of the study room. As they're all pretty much gone, Jeff nudges Britta again and she rolls her eyes. "Okay seriously, what's wrong? You're acting very un-Britta-like today."

She groans and just when she's about to explain, who walks in the door? "Brits! There you are! I found a Greendale sweatshirt in your bedroom, but once I got here I had no idea where to find you. Then this old guy leaving the library asked me if I was lost and so I asked him if he knew you. For some strange reason, he thinks you're a lesbian."

Britta closes her eyes and when she opens them again, she avoids looking at Jeff. Instead, she's looking at Minnie, who's dangling mercilessly from Tobias's grasp. He explains, "Yeah, she's disgusting. Threw up on your couch and then when I tried to move her to clean it, she scratched the hell out of me."

"See? Your beasts are _demons_," Jeff jokes. "I can't believe you suckered someone else into cat-sitting."

Tobias laughs as Jeff and Britta both stand to walk towards him. He drops the cat into Britta's arms and sticks out his hand, albeit a tad bloody. "Hi, I don't believe we've met. Dr. Tobias Perry, Britta's brother."

"Jeff Winger, Britta's… friend," Jeff hesitates a moment when defining their relationship, but shakes her brother's hand anyway.

"Ah, Jeff, right. Well, very nice to meet you," Tobias grins. "Now, if you'll excuse me, I have a convention to get to."

"I have a day to waste," Jeff says and the two men chuckle. Britta's frown deepens. "I'll see you tomorrow, Britta. Nice meeting you."

When he exits the room, Tobias shoots Britta a knowing grin. "So _that's_ Jeff, huh? He's pretty good-looking, tall, seems nice. I approve, Brits!"

"We're not together, Toby," Britta sighs. "Let it be."

"Whatever you say, Britta," He chuckles. "Whatever you say."

* * *

><p><strong>Again, my fault this wasn't posted yesterday. I worked from 7-4 and was way too exhausted to write anything last night haha. Expect the last chapter in a couple of hours!<strong>


	12. 1 Much Awaited Mistletoe Kiss

**Thank you all for your fantastic feedback and for reading! Have a very merry Christmas, a very happy Hanukkah, or a very happy Kwanzaa and I'll see you next time!  
><strong>

* * *

><p><span>Music Theory and Yuletide Traditions<span>

"_On the last day 'til Christmas, Greendale gave to me: twelve useless credits, eleven POP-POP!s, ten blinking lights, nine costume changes, eight cups of cocoa, seven Secret Santas, six failed sleigh rides, five epic snowball fights, four Christmas specials, three crazy dances, two one-eyed cats, and __**a much-awaited mistletoe kiss**__!_"

1 Much-Awaited Mistletoe Kiss

Christmas Eve, 2011- Jeff Winger is going to a _community_ _college_ to sort _paperwork_.

When he was a kid, Christmas used to be the best time of the year. They'd make paper chains and Christmas trees and silver bells in school and then at the end of the semester, they'd put on a holiday pageant for the parents (his father came, once, when Jeff played an ornament. He never came again). He loved crunching his boots in the snow on his walk home from school and the smell of Christmas cookies baking in the oven when he entered his childhood home. Of course, this only lasted for a few years. He only has a few memories of good Christmases; ones where his parents were together, ones where his parents were happy. Ones where he got everything he wanted. Ones where he got anything at all.

But then his father became the lying, conniving, drunken son of a bitch that Jeff really remembers and everything fell to shit after that. Gone were the sledding dates and the Christmas cookies, the snowman-making and the gingerbread baking. One year, they waited until Christmas Eve to get a Christmas tree. The next year, when Jeff had been nine, he woke up excitedly and ran into the living room only to realize his parents had forgotten Christmas entirely. The tree, with broken ornaments and shorted lights, was the only thing in the room.

When his parents split, Jeff had expected things to get better. His father was the problem, Jeff believed, and now that he was out of the picture, things would inevitably get better, right? Wrong. He spent his entire life thinking his father was a piece of shit and glorifying his mother, but when it was just the two of them, he realized what a basket case his mother truly was. She was overindulgent at times and then would be very negligent, so Jeff had pretty much raised himself. When Christmas would come around, she would send him to his grandparents' house on Christmas Eve and pick him up on the twenty-sixth.

Things got weirder if not better as an adult. He decided he'd have Christmas dinner with his mother every year, but other than that, the way he'd spend Christmas was the way he spent any other holiday- drinking through everything. He'd drink through the cheesy Christmas specials and the fifth-grade carolers that lived on his floor. He'd drink through the obnoxious Christmas music on the radio when he was trying to find something good to listen to at night. He would even drink as he watched the Santa Tracker on the Weather Channel Christmas Eve, pretending he didn't care, but secretly wishing he could have a childhood do-over.

Last year, things had been strangely different. With everyone in the group off in their own oblivious holiday-filled world, Jeff had spent his winter break with Britta. They had been sleeping together on the side, on and off since late September, but definitely increasingly more so as time went on. They both had shitty families so they weren't going home to celebrate the holidays, why not spend it with each other? They tried to make it as casual as possible so it wouldn't seem like a relationship-type thing; they didn't have a turkey or a ham, they didn't sing Christmas carols idiotically or bake Christmas cookies and get each other gifts. Instead, they ordered a pizza, watched _The Matrix_, and had sex. That's casual, right?

But lately, things between them have been way less casual. At times, Jeff feels like he's in a relationship with Britta even though they've never defined anything (and never will, if Britta has her way; it's not like Jeff's looking to rush into a relationship or anything, but this lack of knowing is driving him crazy). He's not going to deny he has feelings for her, but what exactly _are_ those feelings? Love? He doesn't know. He's never been in love. How is someone supposed to know what love feels like?

He realizes now, if he expresses these feelings aloud, would be the time Abed would offer him multiple definitions of love expressed through movies and television. Jeff does not want this. Shirley would give him a sermon about two people who were soul mates and then proceed to join as one in holy matrimony. He wants this even _less_. This is annoying. Call him a womanizer all you want, but with his list of nameless hookups, at least he never had to deal with these annoying things like _feelings_. God damn it.

This morning, December 24th, is a bright and sunny Saturday and Jeff squints in the sunlight as he exits the car, his one of the few in the parking lot of Greendale Community College. He recognizes Troy's car and Shirley's van and a few feet away is the Dean's Prius, meaning Pierce, Britta and possibly Annie are still missing. Good, if Britta's not here yet, at least he has a few moments to gain composure and give himself a mental pep talk to stay calm, to stay cool. _You're still smooth, Winger. You got this._

"Jeff!"

Damn it.

He turns to glance over his shoulder, where Britta has parked a few feet away. She's struggling underneath a bag of bagels and two cardboard trays of coffee and juggling never has been her strong point. He grins at her and walks over, taking the two trays of coffee as she thanks him and tosses her bag back over her shoulder. Finally able to lock her car, she does so and they're soon heading towards the door to the academic offices. Jeff asks, "You planning on going into hibernation?"

She pulls a face. "Dean Pelton asked if I could get everyone some coffee to keep everyone sustained and energized. I was the first one here. Apparently he meant nine thirty and I showed up at nine."

Jeff chuckles. "I could've told you that. What did you bring besides coffee?"

"These," Britta holds up the bag and Jeff smirks.

"What's in the bag?"

"It's plastic. You can see through it."

"Why won't you just say it?" He grins, knowing why and she rolls her eyes.

"_Baggles_, Jeff. I brought the group _baggles_." She yanks the door open to the building and the heat radiates out from the inside. "Are you happy now?"

"Tickled," He chuckles and they enter.

When they arrive at the Dean's office, Annie and Shirley are sifting through a stack of paper taller than the desk Dean Pelton is seated behind and Troy and Abed are running packets and printouts through the shredder. Jeff and Britta deliver and serve the bagels and coffee and then are immediately assigned the task of sifting through Greendale's roster of students to validate which ones are real and which ones are either falsified or City College-matriculated. They pull up the roster on the Dean's computer and push him away from their area, immediately sifting and sorting through names.

"Mack Aronie?" Jeff asks as he scrolls through the online roster. "That cannot be anyone's real name."

"No, he's right here," Britta, who has the list of matriculated Greendale students, confirms. "He was in my sociology class first year. Talk about a class clown. That guy was ridiculous."

"Are you going to tell me that Barb Dwyer is a real woman, too?" Jeff chuckles, but his eyes widen when Britta nods, pointing to her own list.

"Yeah. Isn't she the woman Pierce dated for like, a week last year?" Britta asks. "Anyway, she's real. Caroline Dizer, however, is _not_."

Meanwhile, Annie and Shirley are sorting through every class in Greendale's history to pick out those who were made up. It isn't as obvious as you might think, because the made up classes Dean Spreck created didn't have names like "Class 101" or "History of Something." They all sound like they could be a real class, which means Dean Spreck really did his research; among those they found were counterfeit were Introduction to Gerontology, Nutritional Sciences and Dietary Regulations, and Chemistry in the Modern World. Annie stares hard at the title of the next class and turns to Shirley.

"Do you have anything on Music Theory and Appreciation?" Annie poses. "It sounds completely made up."

"Let me check," Shirley says, going through the list of actual Greendale classes as Britta smirks.

"If we have a class called Theoretical Phys Ed, then we can definitely have a Music Appreciation class."

"Wait, which music class?" Troy asks. "Theory and Appreciation? That's real. I took it this semester."

"Who was your professor?" Dean Pelton inquires. "Because I'm not sure that class exists."

"You're not sure?" Jeff smirks. "You're the dean. Shouldn't you know if a class is real or not?"

"It was… Uh…" Troy thinks a moment. "Um, Professor… Professor Blanc! He never showed up to class, though. We only saw him on Halloween. He dressed as an ice cream cone."

They all stare at him. Annie asks, "Who else was in that class with you?"

"Not many people," Troy shakes his head. "There was this _hot_ girl, though. Caroline Dizer."

"She's a City College student!" Britta exclaims and the Dean throws up his hand.

"Troy, _you_ were enrolled in a fake class!" He shrieks. "Oh my God, this is a nightmare!"

"Abed, do the honors," Shirley states, passing the information on the class to Abed by the shredder.

"Cool," Abed grins, dropping it in the machine and watching as it turned to slips of useless scrap paper. "Cool, cool, cool."

Abed and Troy were in the lower left corner of the office, where the Dean's paper shredder was located. Each time Annie or Shirley found a falsified class, they would slide the packet into the shredder. It wasn't much, but it was something to keep them busy while everyone else did all the real work. This was only the tip of the iceberg, though. Once they removed all of the fake classes and students, Dean Pelton still had to defraud the system, which could take many weeks, even months, to fix. This meant classes wouldn't start for a while. This meant Greendale lost whatever little prestige they had left. This meant _war_.

"Who's Alex Osbourne?" Jeff asks, nudging Britta. "Is he a City College student?"

"Hmm," Britta murmurs, flipping through her packet of information. "I'm not finding anything on him."

"You guys," Annie stops them. "That's Starburns!"

Jeff and Britta share a look and ask, "Are you sure?"

"Of course!" She insists. "You know how he's always saying his name is Alex?"

"Oh, right!"

"Damn. I forgot."

This lasts about another hour or so. Nearing eleven, they run out of coffee. At noon, they're down to one bagel. And at twelve-fifteen, they realize Pierce has never shown up and when they call him, he pretends he's forgotten all about it. They finally finish around twelve forty-five and get ready to bid each other farewell for the unbearable hiatus. Jeff can see how this is going to go- Shirley's going to go home to her husband and children to have the perfect Christmas, Annie, Abed and Troy will have each other to hang out with, and Britta will go off and do God knows what to save the Earth.

And he, Jeff, will be alone.

Annoyingly, Jeff knows Pierce's advice had been right- he's at that point in his life where he really doesn't _want_ to be alone anymore. He's been alone his entire life and you know what? Screw commitment issues. Last year was probably the most enjoyable Christmas he'd had since his early elementary days, cookie-baking and Christmas trees notwithstanding. They may not be in love, they may not be in a relationship, but they're definitely _something_ and he's not going to let this opportunity go to waste.

They all bid farewell to the Dean, promising they won't find a higher education elsewhere, and leave his office, heading down the hallway towards the door to the great outdoors. When they're on the front steps, they all hug goodbye, turning to go towards their own cars. Shirley kisses Jeff's cheek and wishes him a joyous holiday, Annie hugs him tightly and tells him she'll be thinking of him, Troy gives him a very grown up handshake and a wry grin, and Abed, in his own little way, also wishes him a good break. It's weird thinking he won't seem them for a while, but they spend _so_ much time together- the distance will be good for them.

And then there's Britta, who pulls away from her hug with Annie to look at him and grin. "So this is goodbye for now? Seems weird, doesn't it?"

"Since we see each other every single day? Yeah," Jeff agrees, the sunlight still glaring through his eyes. "What are you doing for Christmas this year?"

"Well I'm torn," Britta says in that way that tells Jeff she's being _completely_ sarcastic. "Do I want to spend Christmas with my middle brother, his medical stories, and his snooze-fest of a girlfriend? Do I want to spend Christmas with my older brother, niece and nephew, and his bitchy wife? Or do I want to go to my mother's and meet her boyfriend who's four years younger than me?"

"Ooh, the mother. Definitely meet the boyfriend," Jeff chuckles and Britta laughs.

"Yeah, we'll see. I really have no interest in any of them," Britta sighs. "What about you? Any plans?"

"I guess I'm going to see my mother tonight," Jeff matches her sigh. "No interest in that, either."

"Family sucks," Britta says. "I think you and I are better off getting a pizza and watching _The Matrix: Reloaded_."

Jeff nods. "It is the second one. We might as well!"

Britta grins. "Well… Have a good break, Jeff."

"Yeah. You too," He tells her, pulling her into a hug. She wraps her arms around him just as tightly, which tells Jeff their feelings are completely mutual. At this angle, it's almost comical how tiny she is; she barely clears his chest, so he's bent nearly in half to reach her. But for her size, she's incredibly strong, which he realizes by how intense their hug is (even hugging is a competition, for God's sake). She pulls away after a moment and the cherry-and-almond scent of her hair surrounds the air between them. Another goodbye and then she's turning away.

"Wait, Britta!" Jeff calls before she can step from beneath the awning over the school doors. When she turns back, he says, "Crazy, insane, mental, psycho, and maniac."

She pulls a face and steps closer. "What is Jeff Winger?"

Jeff chuckles but shakes his head. "No, it's the five words we promised never to say around you for fear of an annoying rant."

Britta grins. "Why are you telling me this?"

He shrugs and glances upward, toward the awning, before Britta finally follows his eyesight. On the overhang above the door is a sprig of mistletoe. Jeff eyes her, eyebrows raised. "Mistletoe?"

"Jesus, now we're in a Justin Bieber song," Britta exclaims in irritation, but there's still a smile on her face.

"Well, that may be so, but tradition's tradition," Jeff tells her. "You know what we have to do."

"Have to? Oh, so making out with me is a chore, now?" Britta asks incredulously. "I feel like you planned this, Winger, and I'm not sure how I feel about that."

Jeff rolls his eyes. "Shut up, Britta."

She wiggles her eyebrows at him and looks as if she wants to come back with a witty comment, but he kisses her instead and all thoughts are lost. It's almost equivalent to their first kiss on the quad- passionate and intense, as they always have been, but also full of exploration. They know each other after two and half years, but they're still learning. There are still things they don't know and through this kiss, this kiss that feels like a real conversation, they're going to learn it all.

Jeff can feel the rest of the group's eyes on them, but he doesn't care. They can watch, they can all watch. Go get every single damn student at Greendale if you want. Jeff's done hiding the feelings he's had since the first day, done pretending there's nothing between him and Britta, and done messing around with false pretenses. He grips her harder, bringing her closer because this may be something he's done before, but it's something he'd like to do from now on, whenever he feels like it. One hand is on her lower back, the other's entangled in her hair, and even when they pull away a moment later, neither of his hands move.

"So… how _do_ you feel about that?" Jeff asks, smirking and she grins, too.

"I very much enjoyed that," She answers him. "And you?"

He shoots her a look. "Do you even have to ask?"

Britta scrunches her nose, still a bit uncomfortable with _feelings_, he can tell. "Everyone's staring."

"Let them," Jeff shrugs and then inquires, "Pizza and _The Matrix Reloaded_ at my place?"

Britta nods without a moment's hesitation. "Wouldn't want to break tradition, now, would I?"

"No, you wouldn't," Jeff decides. "Merry Christmas, Britta."

"Merry Christmas to you too, Jeff," Britta says and genuinely means it.

And for some reason, this year, it really was.


End file.
